Be Accepting, Be Present, Be Calmer

by Meryl Evans | Category: Business, Life Tips, Meryl's Notes Blog 11 comments

Six Flags Roaring RapidsAlmost every year when May comes, I fretted about how I’ll get work done without the steady, reliable school schedule. So I dreaded the long summer months. Right on schedule, it happened last year. Except, instead of fighting it, I accepted it. And you know what? It was one of the best summers I ever had. No trips. No special events. Nothing.

What was different? Other than my attitude, not much really. I spent most weekends reading great books by the pool while my sons swam. (Faves: “Ready Player One,” “The Night Circus” and “Gone Girl” – affiliate links) I took a day off to go to an amusement park with my family. Instead of dwelling on high amusement park prices, I lived in the moment. The moment of being on a ride. The moment of snapping a picture of my younger son’s big smiling face. (Yes, that there is the photo.) The moment of seeing a cool light show. (This was a group that appeared on “America’s Got Talent.”)

Recognizing family changes

Did I dread it when summer came to a close? No. I was ready for the school year to begin again. Everything has its time. It’s a matter of accepting it and making the most of it. Hard to believe that just 14 years ago, I had only one child and a less complex life. Now, she’s finishing up her first year of college and my younger son has only one year left in elementary school. When he finishes, we’ll have been at this elementary school 14 years! Right now, the thought of leaving the school makes me sad because I’ll miss the staff and the school being a regular part of my life. It also means not having any more elementary-aged kids.

Maybe I’ll be ready by the time fifth grade graduation rolls around. Last year, people asked me if I was sad about my daughter going off to college. I wasn’t. She was ready just like she was also ready for middle school and high school when the time came. Those changes weren’t hard. Even watching my older son as he prepares to leave behind a wonderful middle school program and enter high school this fall isn’t hard either.

However, he has some challenges, so I’m more nervous about him handling a more challenging class schedule in a much larger environment. I need to remind myself to accept it. Just let it be. If something comes up, I’ll handle it when it comes. I’ve done all I can to help him right now.

Maybe this being my youngest of three makes it different. I’m also the youngest of three. My dad called me — a mom of his three grandchildren — his baby right up until his death. In the meantime, I’m in the present. He’s still in fourth grade, still in elementary school, still losing teeth. He did just turn 10, so no more single digit aged kids. I’ve accepted it, but it didn’t stop me from joking about it and pretending to be all pouty.

Quashing the Sunday afternoon or Monday blues

This approach works well with the Monday blues. I don’t hate Mondays. I think of them as the start of getting back to our regularly scheduled programming. Actually, I struggled more with Sunday late afternoons / early evenings than with Monday. (Hey, “The Good Wife” is on Sunday nights.) It meant winding down the weekend and preparing for the upcoming work and school week. That changed when I flipped my perspective.

The downside of being a one-person business is the guilt that comes whenever I find myself not working at any time during the work week. No work = no earning. Weekends give me respite from that. Thus, Sunday became a time when I get a break from feeling like this. Be accepting. I debated whether to sign up to volunteer to go on a field trip with my son’s fourth grade class. Miss a whole day of work? How many more field trips does my son have left? I went. Now I have another great memory.

Time flies. Soon, Monday morning will be Monday evening. Then it’ll be Hump Day and then Friday all over again. Monday is going to come back. So might as well be present and make the most of it.

We have enough stress that dealing with times of the year we don’t like is wasteful. Be accepting. It feels better and calmer. Sounds simple, but sometimes it works.

May has rolled around again. Summer will be here when it gets here. The plan? Read great books, swim some and ride my bike. (I’m weird. I only like to swim and bike in warm weather. Yes, even with indoor swimming pools.)

How do you handle things you don’t like that are coming up? What great books do you recommend?

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  • Posted by Christine on May 9th, 2013, 5:23 PM

    Oh my goodness. I can’t believe your youngest is already 10. It seems like yesterday when you were pregnant with him!

    I like the reminder to just go with the flow – it is so true! It will be here when it gets here. Stressing over it won’t change a thing.

  • Posted by meryl on May 9th, 2013, 5:29 PM

    I know! His first ten years feel like they went faster than his older siblings’ did. Of course, I still stress about things … but at least, I’m trying to do better. How about you?

  • Posted by Cindy Yablonsky on May 9th, 2013, 5:58 PM

    Every time I read what you write I am soooo impressed. You express yourself so beautifully and I feel like I’m walking along side you listening to you tell me a story. Such a great gift and I agree with your article above. Great advice 🙂

  • Posted by meryl on May 10th, 2013, 7:26 AM

    Thank you, dear friend! It’s so neat to get comments from friends I met in person first. What’s your experience been?

  • Posted by Lori on May 28th, 2013, 7:14 AM

    Wasn’t Ready Player One a nice surprise of a book? I enjoyed every bit of it.

    That guilty feeling still plagues me, though not as much. I have this habit of justifying my sitting around doing nothing by adding up the month’s earnings in my head. I figure if I’ve earned my keep, I’ve also earned the down time. 🙂

  • Posted by meryl on May 28th, 2013, 7:36 AM

    I can’t believe I never heard of “Ready Player One” until it was a book club assignment. That’s why I love federal holidays — gives me another day (besides weekends) to skip work without feeling guilty. If circumstances were different, I’d take more time off. Just not to be right now. You definitely earn every bit of the down time, Lori!

  • Posted by Lori on June 4th, 2013, 8:14 AM

    My son talked me in to reading that one, Meryl. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have even known about it.

  • Posted by meryl on June 4th, 2013, 8:18 AM

    I’d love to see it become a movie! I read somewhere there were rumblings of a script in development … but nothing since. This is about the most informative article on the topic:

  • Posted by Ivan Widjaya on March 17th, 2014, 8:28 PM

    Acceptance can really work its magic. You’ll be quite surprised on how it can affect negative emotions like anger, jealousy and others.

  • Posted by Lisa Stokes on June 3rd, 2014, 2:14 PM

    I have to admit – I am getting hooked on your blogs! They are so thought provoking, relevant, and well written!

  • Posted by Meryl K Evans on June 3rd, 2014, 2:57 PM

    Thank you, Lisa! Means a lot coming from you!

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