Life Tips

One Halloween while helping my mom pass out candy, I saw a kid in a cute Bugs Bunny costume. The costume was made out of nice material instead of the weird smelling plastic mask and the stiff vinyl bodysuit. See Exhibit A for an lovely example of a vinyl Darth Vader costume. What’s up with my reaction in the photo? I wasn’t happy someone took my picture before I could get my mask on.

I can’t recall exactly how the cute Bugs Bunny costume looked except that it wasn’t the vinyl most of us wore those days unless we were lucky enough to have a parent who could sew or pull pieces together into a clever costume. It was probably some variation of these bunnies.

That costume stuck with me. When it came time to pick a costume for the following Halloween, I told my mom I wanted to be Bugs Bunny. I smiled as I pictured myself wearing that awesome costume instead of the plastic vinyl mashup.

What did I get?

This:

Think I was a happy wabbit?

Mom and I both understood what “Bugs Bunny” meant. The problem stemmed from her not knowing about the costume I saw the year before. And I didn’t provide more details because I assumed she’d find the right one. The costume I wanted was probably not available in any store. There I go again with an assumption that it was a homemade costume. The only way to find out was to ask the girl about her costume.

Assumptions lead to disappointment. How do we know what to communicate to a coworker, client or colleague? We’re stuck in our heads that we forget the other person doesn’t know XYZ. Learn to over-communicate and remember the other person may not have all the facts you do. Another helpful tool is to share examples. For a web design project, for example, clients can make a list of websites they like and explain why they like each one. Maybe it’s the color scheme in one design, the layout in another, the writing in another.

Sometimes it takes practice and experience. One client has a unique way of communicating his wants. He’s not a poor communicator, but a different type of thinker than I am. Not good or bad. Just is. That’s where understanding personality types helps. When he hired an intern, she confided that she had trouble understanding what he wanted. I admit feeling relieved knowing it wasn’t me and helped her learn from my experience.

Overcoming assumptions sounds simple. However, some folks think you’re not a self-starter if you keep asking questions and talking about it instead of running with it. Some fear asking too many questions reflects poorly on their abilities. Which would you rather have? Someone who erases assumptions with conversation and gets it right the first time, or someone who gets right to work and produces plastic vinyl results?

“If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?” – John Wooden.

How can you communicate better to avoid assumptions?

Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2012 Meryl Evans

Welcome to meryl’s notes blog (this here place you’re lookin’ at) in Plano, Texas. We’re honored to be a stop in Mari McCarthy’s WOW! Women On Writing Blog tour. We’re giving away a prize of the winner’s choice! Read on to see how you can win.

About Mari McCarthy: Mari L. McCarthy is The Journaling Therapy Specialist, founder of Create Write Now and Journaling for the Health of It™.  Mari offers guidance, counseling and encouragement to writers through her many journaling eBooks and in private Journaling Jumpstart consultations. Mari’s hosting the next Peace of Mind and Body: 27 Days of Journaling Challenge starting January 2, 2012. Please join her!

Her new Dark Chocolate for the Journaler’s Soul ebook compiles the journaling journeys of 17 journalers who have shared their stories on Create Write Now’s Journal Writing Transforms You blog. Reading these stories is both comforting and enlightening, sort of like dark chocolate, a food that is good for your health despite being sinfully delicious!

Journaling for Documentation by Mari McCarthy

There are innumerable reasons why keeping a journal is beneficial. From dreaming to scheming to moaning and groaning, filling the pages of your journal with your various states of being is the most direct route I know to personal achievement, resolution and inner peace.

However, probably the oldest and most fundamental purpose of journaling is its use as a documentary. Surely the caveman’s wall paintings were a kind of journal, to share with posterity his achievements and the details of his days. And ever since, people have kept diaries for the simple reason that they wish to document their lives: what happens, who they meet, where they are and all the minutiae of their experience.

Nowadays, we tend to think our time is far too pre-occupied for such pursuits. But if we read the journals of predecessors, we can quickly see what a great gift such writings can be. Despite the rush and roar of 21st century life, keeping a journal will benefit not only our own peace of mind, but also that of our descendants.

If you have experienced the death of an elder in your family, you know that such passing away is always shocking, no matter how expected it may have been. And in so many cases, we regret that we did not know the deceased as well as we might have wished. Moreover, our children and their children may later on become curious about their ancestors. Isn’t it appropriate, then, that we take pains to prepare for this eventuality by documenting our lives in a journal?

So the diary-kind of journaling is precious and obviously important. But note that there are many other kinds of journaling for documentation, as well.

• Keeping a travel journal is a great way not only to maintain a record for the future but also to heighten your enjoyment of the experience as it is happening. Jotting down notes, describing places and scenes in detail, reflecting on the meaning of what you see and recording your personal reactions gives you a more well-rounded awareness of your journey.

• You might want to keep a journal that documents your progress on a project, something that you create over time. This could be professional or personal. You might document your work with underprivileged children; or your participation in a mastermind group; or your process of learning to paint landscapes.

• A journal documentary of your commitment to weight loss, or to stopping an unhealthy habit or building a healthy one, or to a new personal relationship can be powerfully helpful in achieving your goals, in addition to providing a record of progress that will give you much satisfaction when you re-read your entries later on.

• Another kind of documentary journaling may focus on a certain area of your life. Try journaling about what you cook and eat each day, about your child’s growth and learning, about your garden, or about your spiritual experiences. Remember that while most journals involve writing, they can also (or alternatively) include drawings or scrapbooked items pasted into the pages.

There are endless ways to document the details of your consciousness in a journal. Never think this is a vain pursuit or waste of time. By journaling your experiences, you deepen your own life and potentially enrich the lives of many others in the process.

Comment and win: The prize: winner gets to pick one of three prizes, which are Dark Chocolate for the Journaler’s Soul ebook, a Dark Chocolate for the Journaler’s Soul T-shirt or Mari’s Most Musefull Journaling Tips (8 1/2 x 11 Spiral Bound).

For a chance to win, please leave a comment about journaling, documentation or whatever comes to mind after reading this post (other than you wanna win!). You have until 11:59pm on December 14, 2011 to qualify for the drawing. The unbiased and robotic Random.org has the honor of picking the winner.

Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Meryl Evans

My quest for a nice costume without the cheap material and plastic proved challenging as gal who loves Halloween. This isn’t a one-time costume, but one to use whenever I needed it. I visited the Disney website and found the Big Bad Wolf costume on sale. PERFECT for my 6’4″ husband. Not the best photo, but you get the idea.

Then I found Daisy on sale. (Unfortunately, no picture of me as Daisy Duck.) It clicked. My dad was popular with the kids because he could talk like Donald Duck. It didn’t take long before my mom and siblings showered him with Donald Duck toys, art and knickknacks that his home office looked like a Donald Duck shrine with a few Betty Boops thrown in. (Mom’s thing that we all started bopping her with Boop gifts.)

One thing about collections — it made it easier to shop for people who had everything they needed. My thing was Broadway and dreidels (spinning tops). Broadway didn’t happen by accident, but dreidels did. I had a couple of them and somehow Paul (aka Big Bad Wolf) decided to add a new one — sometimes two — to my collection every year.

Then Dad died in 2007. This left — among other things, of course — Mom stuck with a massive Donald Duck collection. She kept the more meaningful ones like the Donald Duck latch hook I did. She also gave one Donald Duck item to each of us kids that we had given him. I have the 65th anniversary clock.

Between Dad’s death and tightening belts, I decided to stop collecting dreidels because we didn’t need so much stuff. (I had stopped collecting Broadway stuff ages ago.) Stuff piles up creating more upkeep work. Besides, they just sit on a shelf only to be admired whenever company comes over.

Except for gadgets, I cut buying needless things and spent more time on every buying decision. I still make mistakes and experience buyer’s remorse (Viewsonic gTablet).

I cleared a lot of clutter giving up books I didn’t need and items I hadn’t touched in over a year. Yes, I thought “But what if I need it later? I don’t want to spend money on another one.” Well, later has yet to come and it feels great to be rid of the item.

Do you have stuff you’d like to clear out? What makes it hard to get rid of them?

And now for this week’s links.

Brain food …

• Best Tweeps for Writers. Great list that I already followed over half and added the rest without question. Yes, I’m on the list — but it’s hard to question it when it has a lot of folks I enjoying conversing with in social media. Not a popularity contest. I never win those.
• 16 Useful Twitter Plugins for WordPress. Enhance your website / blog with these plugins. I don’t recommend automating posts unless you can make it look like a good tweet instead of a cut-off one. Those are the worst.
• 280 Must Read Books for Entrepreneurs. Of course, you shouldn’t read them all. It’s more important to glean what you read than how many you read. Great list.

For fun because we’re allowed …

• Letter, letter, letter (project forever ongoing). Creative alphabet.
• How to Get Free Stuff Throughout the Year. My library doesn’t have ebook borrowing … yet. Well, it does, but not books most people read. I don’t request every free offer I come across. Only the ones I know I could use.
• The Burning House. What would you take with you if your house was burning? I was in a burning house at age six — my grandparents’. Didn’t even grab my shoes. I’d want my irreplaceable photos and information. I’d have to grab my desktop’s CPU as it has both, but not all the photos especially the older ones.
• The largest hot-air balloon gathering in the world. 182 balloons photo-stitched together. Just incredible.
• 12 Coolest Pictures of Post-It War. Good kind of war!
• Few Brushstrokes Give Hilarious Illustrations. Exactly that — simple illustration, hilarity ensues.

Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Meryl Evans

Ever watch Hoarders, the TV show? What about Clean House? One feeling keeps popping up from the people who live in these messy homes overflowing with stuff: overwhelmed. In a Clean House episode, the homeowner must’ve said “Overwhelmed” at least 10 times when asked how the home spiraled out of control and why didn’t she do something about it.

I understand the feeling. Not from a messiness perspective, but from a mental one. However, I’ve seen my sons’ closets turn into a mini-hoarder zone when they play their little games and mess up each other’s closets. I’d look at the mess feeling overwhelmed. If I were to clean them up (their mess, their job to clean it up), I wouldn’t know where to start because looking at it paralyzed me despite knowing you start by picking up the first item and putting where it needs to go.

The overwhelmed feeling can turn into anxiety and turn into a barrier for getting things done.

Think Day-tight Compartments

I’ve been a worrier since high school, if not before. When I heard about Dale Carnegie’s How to Stop Worrying and Start Living [affiliate], I read the book right around the time I started my first post-college job. Many of its concepts stuck with me for years especially the live in “day-tight compartments” advice. I’ve been applying it a lot lately.

Right before school started, I worried about whether one kid could handle an increased load and how we would manage a busier schedule on top of helping our oldest apply for college and planning a family milestone event.

STOP! Put the blinders on. Think day-tight compartments. OK, I didn’t do this as quickly as I should have. Eventually, I got there after school started and experienced the things that concerned me.

Focus on the Now

Yes, it’s hectic as expected. But instead of making myself crazy, I focus on the now. What do I need to do now? Relish what I am doing now.

Sometimes my mind wanders while watching TV during a workout that I lose track of the story. Stop, rewind, shut out unrelated stray thoughts and listen to the story.  Deal with stray thoughts later.

During night-time book reading, thoughts of things I need to do for work creep in. Wall up. I have a book to enjoy and I smile pleased with myself that I made time to read. Work will wait until morning. If I need to remember something, write it down and forget about it.

Work time arrives. Instead of I need to do this, this ‘n this — it’s, “What is the one thing I must do today?” (Zen Habits talks about this in detail.) I concentrate on making that happen as early in the day as possible. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t.

Notice the theme? Focusing on the present. Block everything else and address them when the time is right. It’s not 100% foolproof. At times, I’ll falter especially when too much comes my way in a short time.

When life overwhelms you, how do you handle it? How do you manage worries and things piling on? What advice would you give to worriers?

Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Meryl Evans

My youngest enters third grade, a grade that feels like a pinnacle school year. When my oldest was in third grade, I was pregnant with the youngest and had him at the end of the school year. He visited the school many times as a baby and toddler. Now, he’s over halfway through his elementary school career. Third grade is the first year they take those fun state tests with Texas introducing a new one this year making everyone crazier than usual.

Third grade is when things get serious in a child’s education and life. Less play, more work.

First day of third grade

Lessons from Third Grade

Third grade happens to be one of the grades I remember well. It’s the one year I recall laying out my clothes the night before — brand new dress and ugly blocky ’70s shoes. When the students waited in the cafeteria to find out our teachers, we third graders talked about who was mean and who was nice. Out of all that, I remember someone saying, “Mrs. Miller is the mean one.”

Guess who I landed. I also had almost every third grade teacher. First, I had Mrs. Johnson for reading and Mrs. Lambert for math. My mom went straight to the principal and told them to try again. She believed the school placed me in lower level classes than where I needed to be. They moved me to Mrs. Johnson for math and Mrs. Massey for reading. Happily ever third grade.

Oh, and Mrs. Miller? She was a wonderful teacher.

The lessons: expectations and speaking up.

Expectations

We can’t help but have expectations in our lives and careers. You interview for a job and form an idea of what to expect in talking with the people interviewing you. You meet with a potential client discussing the project collecting tidbits from the conversation hinting what it might be like to work with the client.

Sometimes our expectations are on target. Sometimes they’re not. The more accurate information you have, the more likely reality matches expectations. My third grade friends had no basis for saying Mrs. Miller’s mean. It was probably a long line of hearsay.

Speaking up

When something isn’t right or you believe it can be better. Speak up. Fight for it. As a freelancer, my clients hire me for my expertise in content. If I see a missed opportunity or a better way of doing something, I speak up. A freelancer isn’t a person who only does what the client asks. It also means acting like a consultant who shares knowledge and experience to help the client.

For example, I’ve worked with a client on his company website for a long time. Search engine optimization (SEO) rules have changed since we first met. I told him I’d like to revise pages per current SEO recommendations explaining what needed changing and why. He told me to run with it.

When one of my kids received an assignment way out of his league that would hurt more than help, I spoke up. It had happened before to another student and the powers that be didn’t do anything to correct it. I couldn’t stand by and watch my son suffer the consequences of a poor decision on the leaders’ part. It took a few messages, but we found a compromise.

When did you encounter expectations that didn’t match up to reality? How about when they did match up? Why didn’t they match up? Why did they? How about a situation when you spoke up to a manager or a client?

Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Meryl Evans

I went to camp with my fifth grade class, but don’t recall much about the adventure. Only two scenes play in my memories. One is getting ready for bedtime wearing my long-sleeved maroon PJs with a big white 8 on the front. At the time, my brother attended Texas A&M and I was a big fan of the Aggies. The school’s colors were maroon and white. And, I loved playing sports, and these were sporty PJs.

Photo from sxc.hu user tato_al

The other memory. The zipline. I wimped out. It took me a little longer than my friends to build up courage to do things like riding roller coasters and climbing down mountains. Two years after the fifth grade trip, I went to a summer camp in Colorado where they had rappelling. The counselors strapped me in the getup that felt like wearing underwear on the outside of my shorts. I turned my back to the mountainside and the unknown, slowly taking steps backwards.

Mountain face-off

I stood on the edge frozen for a long time. (Reality: five minutes.) Heart thumping. Legs and arms weak and numb. No, I didn’t think about fifth grade camp to remind myself not to wimp out again. Finally, I pushed one foot behind the other in small steps while gripping the rope harder with each movement.  I found myself on the side of the mountain looking straight up at the sky with body parallel to the ground. It was time to push off to slide down. First jump was just enough to get over dental floss. With each push, I went further out and further down.

Touchdown! I love you, ground. Proud. Pat, pat, pat. Nice job. Hey, I did it. All that stuff.

Around 1996, I went indoor rock climbing. No problem going up. No problem going down. Repeat.

Pushing fear out of the way

Doing something for the first time is hard. Taking on a new client is hard even if it’s the same work you’ve always done. You’ve done the work before and done it well. So why be afraid? The big reason doing tasks for new clients feels like the first time I rappelled the mountain is that I fear the work won’t be good enough. Or I won’t do it the way the client likes it.

Think about all the things that you make afraid. Life would be easier without fear. But how do you get better? Learn from mistakes. How do you try new things? Forge ahead.

If I hadn’t pushed through while afraid, I would not have…

• Gone skydiving.
• Worked with new clients, some I still work with today.
• Attended conferences where I met people who became friends and colleagues.
• Enjoyed one of the most memorable weekends of my life.
• Published a website for a nonprofit organization. (I can manage websites easily, but designing one reflecting the organization scares me.)

If you avoided everything that made you afraid, what would you have missed on?

Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Meryl Evans

Almost <mumbles> years ago, I stood on the corner wearing a brand new dress suit on a hot and humid Washington, DC July day waiting for the bus to come. It had to be around 7 a.m. as I headed out to my first day of my first job after college. From that day on, I arrived at work by 7:30 a.m. until later years when I changed that to 7 a.m.

Rest

Yet, eight years before that first day of work, I struggled to get out of bed to make it to high school for the 8 a.m. bell. Somewhere between the first day of high school and first day of work, my body decided it liked the early bird routine. Living in Washington, DC, prime time TV ran from 8 p.m. to 11 p.m. I rarely caught the news because I fell asleep by 10:30 p.m.

Years later, I still hit the pillow between 10 and 10:30. Actually, I’ll get under the covers by 9:30 to wind down by reading or watching TV. No computer. No exercise. No energetic activities right before bedtime. This habit works so well that I could barely keep my eyes open after a family party ended at 11 p.m. despite the fun and excitement.

I get seven to eight hours of sleep every night. Occasionally, I’ll pull in a six, nine or even the dreaded ten (too long!). Anything less than seven isn’t good. When I don’t sleep well or enough, I’m a disaster the next day. I do my best to get through it, but I’m slower, hungrier, unfocused and irritable. More research shows getting enough sleep helps your mental health, memory, performance and body healing process.

Exercise

Thanks to playing a ton of sports while growing up, exercise has always been a regular part of my routine. Well, I’ve sharpened the routine since I stopped playing tennis. I’d play tennis twice a week and then randomly exercise two other days. Now, I have a structured routine on the what I do and when I do it.

Some days I don’t feel like working out. Because of habit, I get ‘er done. Maybe I don’t work out as hard or as long. Generally, I work out around the same time each day of the week (afternoons during weekdays and mornings on weekends). Sometimes I have an afternoon meeting or an early weekend event. I adapt. It’s harder, but because I stick with it — it’s done.

Habits

Notice a theme? I have a bad habit of checking email every morning because I created it long ago. But really. How many people you know stay up late sending emails? Most of the first thing emails are spam, social media notices and email newsletters that I can read later. First thing emails rarely come from a client or family member. (Well, except for my mom who can thrive on little sleep.)

I started keeping my email client closed while quickly glancing at the inbox on the BlackBerry. Most of the time, it’s nothing. It gives me comfort knowing I’m not missing anything. Remember email is my “phone.” With Gmail, I switch to “Contacts” mode to hide the mail. Also, make email filters your friend.

Habits help with work. Every Tuesday, I do work for one client. Every Friday, I post my favorite links for the week.

You probably know all this. So why post this? Sometimes we don’t realize that we need to create new habits or why we struggle to change habits. It takes time to retrain your brain’s passageways to dump or make habits.

What habits do you have? What habits do you want to change? What habits do you value?

Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Meryl Evans

Born profoundly deaf, Stephen J. Hopson didn’t let that stand in the way of fulfilling his dreams. He landed his first job on Wall Street at a major New York bank. Ten years later, he left this secure position to further his career as an award-winning stockbroker. He made aviation history by becoming the world’s first deaf instrument-rated pilot in 2006.

Because he wanted to inspire others to overcome their shortcomings, usually imaginary, the way Stephen had experienced his life; he turned his life’s journey into a national bestselling book Obstacle Illusions: Transforming Adversity into Success [affiliate link]. Through his writings and keynote speeches, Stephen is inspiring thousands of people worldwide to believe in themselves and achieve the impossible.

How did the book project come about?

The book had been in the making for over a decade after I quit Wall Street. I began hanging out in coffee shops in the city and writing stories, reaching deep within me and pulling out life experiences and putting them on paper. Soon, I was submitting some of them for publication as a way of testing my writing talents and to my surprise, it got accepted in three then-bestselling books. (Chicken Soup for the College Soul [affiliate link] was one of them.)

That gave me confidence to keep writing, which I very much enjoyed doing. In 2000, after hundreds of rejections, I landed a prominent literary agent named Joseph Dupreos who was, at that time, representing Mother Teresa. I thought for sure we would get a big book publishing contract. But after months of working on the book proposal and then approaching them, all of them turned us down.

The book went on the back burner for 10 years while I pursued other things of interest. Along the way, I had several people help me edit the manuscript while I added and deleted chapters. Eventually, I had a 300-page manuscript. On the advice of experienced authors, I cut it in a half, which is what is now the book Obstacle Illusions: Transforming Adversity Into Success [affiliate link]. The other half will eventually be book #2. I finished it a year ago and then hired a professional editor and cover designer to assist with the finalizing of the book. It’s been a long road!

What will book #2 focus on? How is it different from Obstacle Illusions?

It will be mostly a “how-to” book based on my life experiences.

How did you land your agent?

Sent hundreds of one page query letters outlining the book’s purpose and invited them to request the book proposal, which I wrote with the help of Write the Perfect Book Proposal [affiliate link] by Jeff Herman.

How long did it take to write the book?

Ten years or so.

What was the writing process for the book?

I broke it down into manageable tasks. I bought a bulletin board and a stack of index cards. Every day, at the beginning, I allocated a time block (usually an hour or two) and thought about what kind of chapters I wanted to create and then wrote titles on the cards.

They were put up on the board and I was free to move them around anytime I felt inspired to do so. Then I would pick a chapter idea that inspired me on any given morning and start writing the chapter. That was my daily commitment.

How is your book different from other personal development books from people who faced similar challenges in their lives?

They contain signature stories of things that have happened to me. People like stories because they can relate to them more than dry facts. The book gives people a chance to take a peek into my life and how I got to be where I am. People have told me they felt all kinds of emotions while reading about my experiences. Each chapter ends with a life lesson and a series of interactive type questions.

How do the emotions help them? If they read the life lesson and answer the questions, what will they walk away with?

Emotions are universal. We all have the ability to tap into them and reading a good story is a good way to help them feel better about themselves. A good story reminds them they are not alone.

Here are a few things I hope readers will walk away with:

• When we make up our mind about something, we set the universe in motion. Forces beyond our ability to comprehend, far more subtle and complex than we could imagine, are engaged in a process, the dynamics of which the human race is just beginning to understand. In other words, make a firm decision and go for your dreams! You will be supported!!
• Nothing happens by chance. Everything happens for a reason. Look for the good in everything. If you look hard enough you’ll see healing taking place in there somewhere.
• Don’t force your hand — learn to stop being control freaks and surrender the final outcome. Trust that things will happen at the right time.
• Everything you need to achieve your dreams will be made available through divinely orchestrated events — the appearance of the right people, and other resources you may not have previously thought possible. In other words, trust the universe to guide and provide for you along your journey.
• Some people call this coincidence, others, synchronicity. Whatever you call it, it all stems from you. You create your reality. So why not go for what you really want!!!

Please share a time of when you faced an obstacle and overcame it or learned from it.

When I went to a seminar for speakers and just happened to be low on funds. When it came time for lunch, I went to the hotel’s restaurant with another participant because it was sweltering hot outside and I didn’t want to venture outdoors. Everything on the menu cost over $20 except for the soup of the day which was $9.99. That’s exactly what I had in my pocket so I ordered that, stuffing free crackers in my pocket in case I got hungry later.

After the seminar was over, I went home and went straight to the mailbox to check my mail. As I was flipping through the stack of mail, I noticed a flaming red envelope, which stood out. Curious, I opened that first and as I was doing that, something fell out and floated to the floor like a butterfly in slow motion. It took me a minute to realize what it was. A ten dollar bill! I knew immediately it was the universe that just paid for my lunch earlier that day. The lesson was “It’s the universe’s job to take care of you, if you let it.”

I want people to realize that when you act on faith and pursue your dreams (in my case that was quitting a lucrative six-figure career on Wall Street to become a speaker), the universe will gather at you feet and support you along the way.

Wall Street jobs tend to involve a lot of meetings and phone calls. And so does being a coach. As a fellow deafie, I know the lipreading is not a science. How did you communicate in these roles?

Yes, indeed. I used my teletypewriter (TTY) and the relay to call clients. I placed buy and sell orders on the computer. Meetings were always a challenge for I didn’t have an interpreter nor did I request one. I just did the best I could while I was there.

Thank you, Stephen, for your time and inspiration.

How did you handle an obstacle? What did you learn from the experience? Have you ever felt the universe took care of you? If so, how?

Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Meryl Evans

My mom bought her Baldwin piano in 1948 with money she inherited from a family member. She always said she’d give it to the first grandchild who expresses interest in piano lessons. It took four grandchildren — the youngest one, too — for that to happen. When my oldest had to pick choir, band or orchestra in sixth grade, she picked choir.

Years later, she regretted her decision. She asked me why didn’t I make her learn an instrument. If I had, she would’ve hated her parents for it and not followed through on practicing.

I chose to take piano lessons when I was eight, the same age as the piano playing grandkid. Yet, I rarely practiced. Do you think a kid forced into music will cooperate and practice when Mom and Dad tell her to?

Anyway, we have the 1946 Baldwin piano in our living room and I’m appreciating it more than I did while growing up. After my son practiced (every day, so far!), I decided to try the lessons in his primer. I played a simple version of Old MacDonald and he sang along while I played. Small moment. Relished every bit.

For years, I remembered how to play two songs: Heart and Soul and Yankee Doodle. I memorized Yankee Doodle for a piano recital and it stuck with me because I’d play it from time to time. Unfortunately, I don’t remember now because I stopped playing it. Heart and Soul is easier and I managed to remember that one. However, I played it backwards. It’s like riding a bicycle. Except instead of hitting the wrong brake, I went backwards.

The same happened with the bike! I had my bike tuned after years of hanging upside down in the garage. When I finally rode it, I had trouble with the gears because I couldn’t remember how to use them.

Practicing makes a difference. It won’t always be like riding a bicycle as witnessed with my inability to help Yankee Doodle Dandy get to town a-riding on a pony. In high school and college, I did plenty of writing like any other student. When I read my old college papers, I recoil. Then I look at my later papers from graduate classes and the writing flows better, but not like today.

One of my writing goals is to use stories more often like Michael Katz does in his email newsletter. It takes time to come up with a story that matches the main idea of an article. But it’ll get easier with … (all together!) practice. Practice turned me into a decent softball player. Practice helped me give stronger speeches. Extra practice helped me land first chair in band. (I reread the band post and flinched. It’s six years old.)

Wanna bet I’ll look at this post five years from now and wince? I hope so, or else I’m not working hard enough to improve my writing.

How has practicing affected your life? What did it help you accomplish? Is there anything you stopped practicing? Will it be like riding a bicycle if you try it again?

Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Meryl Evans

What did I do last weekend? (Technically, two weekends ago.) I sat by the pool watching my family swim. I finished Catching Fire. (Four out of five stars.) I cheered on the Dallas Mavericks as I watched the parade on TV in the comfort of my own home. I discovered the newest shows on Broadway while enjoying familiar ones. (Yes, it meant watching the Mavericks and the Tony Awards at the same time.) I worked on the blog. I did article research.

I confess those last two are work-related. That doesn’t happen often — just when I have deadlines to meet or a lot on my plate. The blog has been around for so long and has gone through many changes that it has a few problems. I’ve tried working on the problems last week, but it took longer than expected taking up too much business time.

But it wasn’t always like that. I used to work in the evenings and one day on the weekends. I’d work on my laptop outside of my office where I could get more comfortable and be with my family. Some of these activities weren’t for clients, but for marketing and networking.

Despite connecting with some great folks, most of these activities didn’t pay. While I value getting to know others, I value my family first.

Aha Moment

I caught the final episodes of The Oprah Winfrey Show including one with memorable insight from author Toni Morrison that hit me. She described an incident when her young son came to her with a drawing while she worked. “Oh, that’s nice,” she said.

He ripped the drawing.

“Why did you do that?” she asked.

Apparently, the look on her face was less than thrilled with the interruption. -Gulp- I’m guilty of that. After hearing that story, I worked to change that and my son’s attitude became more positive. But I still need to keep practicing as I’m not batting a thousand.

Stopping the Insanity

I have four walls and a door to draw the line between my office and my home. Even with solid walls, the line between the two lives still blurs. Writers, freelancers and solo-preneurs can’t always draw a line between home and work to keep out the disruptions.

They can set rules. They can change their attitudes. They can dump activities that aren’t working.

I must’ve done something right. On the occasional Saturday or Sunday, my son asks, “Are you working?” or “Why are you in your office?”

Over to you: Do you work in the evenings and the weekends? How do you draw the line between business and home? If you could have it your way, what would you do? How can you make that happen?

Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Meryl Evans