I admit it. Summer break messes with my writing work that I work shorter hours, blog less and write fewer online articles. While I have one kid old enough to fend for herself (driving) and another going to day camp, summer still disrupts my schedule. For one, the day camp doesn’t start until 9am. By that time, I’ve worked at least two hours during the school year.

Between breakfast and the two younger kids talking to each other, it affects the quiet time I love during the school year. Although I’ve adjusted to start my morning with administrative work and social media catching up, how I start my day sets the tone for the rest of the day. Plus, one kid stays home all day and interrupts me at unexpected times.

Here are the rules I’ve set to be as efficient as possible:

1. No TV downstairs. The noise distracts me. Sure, I can turn off my cochlear implant — but that silence differs from room silence. Plus, turning it off prevents me from hearing the door, the dog or hurt children.
2. Make your own lunch. If I am in the kitchen making my lunch and I’m good about eating at the standard lunch hour, I offer to make lunch for the kids. But if they’re hungry before then, they can make their own.
3. Do interrupt when it’s health-related. I want them to know that getting hurt or not feeling well is important and I need to know ASAP — not at the end of the day.
4. Schedule afternoon appointments. I’m most effective in the morning, so I make all non-work appointments in the afternoon — when I have the choice.

The rules work, but I still get a few interruptions daily that aren’t important. But I won’t impose more rules on the kids. So that’s why I limit blogging and social media time in the summer. I use that time to get client work done. (Heh. Just interrupted because son said he can’t remember how to write a couple of cursive letters.)

Whether you have children at home, there may be other times of the year that become more disruptive than the usual. How do you manage during those times of the year?

I love Terri Libenson’s The Pajama Diaries. My mom saves them for me since my local newspaper doesn’t carry the comic strip (I submitted a request for it). The strip revolves around freelancer Jill Kaplan, a mother and Jewish woman. That’s me. AND my maiden name is Kaplan. The following strip captures a day in the life of a freelancer except add PTA and volunteer work in there.

Click to view larger

Jill is an graphic designer, but most of the time the strip focuses on the fact she’s a freelancer working in an home office. Here you can see more examples. I would love to see the series come out in book form like Baby Blues, which I also love. I relate to the Pajama Diaries more from a career and balance work and home-life perspective. Rick Kirkman and Jerry Scott do a lovely job capturing parenthood and children in Baby Blues.

I think this Easton Courier article covers an important issue for all of us to be aware of. My daughter is an active online chatter and she found her way to MySpace, a trendy site for her friends and kids in her age group. Unfortunately, it’s a gold mine for the pedophiles.

Since I knew she chatted online a lot, I asked her what sites she uses on a regular basis. I looked at them and her profiles. I talked to her about grown ups who pose as kids and even use kids’ photos for “proof.” I also sent statistics from a police officer who talks about the topic. Here are the stats (source unknown):

The average teen is online an average of 5.5 hours a day.

65% of teens and children receive indecent solicitations in Chat rooms, another 24% in Instant Messenger.

The FBI reports there is a 100% chance of a child meeting a predator in a chat room.

75% of teens report sharing personal information about themselves and family to strangers in chat rooms or on blogging sites, such as Xanga and My Space.

From the sponsor: Heal faster with tumescent liposuction.

This book appeared at the right time because I’ve been trying to cut down on yelling and work through problems by staying calm, which is the approach Runkel, a licensed family and marriage therapist, advocates. The book is an easy read and doesn’t overwhelm the parent with too many steps as self-help books often do.

The clear, direct, and humorous writing style allows parents with hectic lives to quickly read the book, absorb its concepts, and put them to use. Each chapter ends with reflection questions to reinforce the themes from the chapter. The book continues its effectiveness whether or not the reader answers the questions. However, thinking about the questions might shed light on you, your kids, and your relationships.

The concept of parents not letting their emotions guide their response to a child’s troubles is not new, but Runkel shares stories, experiences, and explanations on how to do it. Sure, junior spilling juice all over the carpet can make any parent mad, but dealing with the situation while maintaining control has better results than a scream fest, spanking, or arguing.

Though the book focuses on parenting, its concepts largely address ourselves as individuals. For we have to take care of us first before others. Instead of permissive or dictatorship parenting, Runkel encourages judo parenting, which is “the art of going with another’s momentum.” He shows how to do this by providing the answers to the questions all parents get like “I’m bored,” “Are we there yet?” and “I hate you!”

Two nitpicks. First, there are a few religious references. I wish this had been omitted because religion is a hot issue and the book’s concepts fly well without the religious quotes or references. Using these unnecessarily limits the book’s reach as people who skim the book might get the impression it’s only for Christian parents. It’s not.

The second is not an issue, but rather a want for more examples of using the ScreamFree approach. The stories in the book explain the concept very well and having more would enhance the book’s usefulness.

When I told my oldest about the book, she said parents who yell are teaching their kids to yell when they become adults. Deep and accurate insight, as we’ve seen many children grow up to pick up their parents’ bad habits. Overwhelmed parents can begin with one step by picking one situation that pushes their buttons and applying the ScreamFree approach until they get the hang of it. Runkel doesn’t pressure the reader and the concepts are doable.

Title: ScreamFree Parenting
Author: Hal Edward Runkel
Publisher: Oakmont Publishing
ISBN: 0975998110
Date: March 2005
Format: Paperback
Pages: 256
Cover Price: USD: $19.95 Amazon: $14.42

Did you hear that? That was feminism acting out as it takes a step backward with Tom’s Hardware Guide Columns: Why Women Aren’t Gamers – Yet – Hands Up Who really Wants Women In Videogaming? Yeah, he’s got some, eh? But really, I understand his point and he is right about everything he said regarding Grand Theft Auto.

I played a lot of games growing up and even after college. I didn’t slow down until I had a kid. Same goes for Paul. My priorities changed. I still love a good game, but I don’t have time for it and I can’t make time for it because I have to do that for other things.

My older son is into Pokemon for the Game Boy. He has lost one of the game cartridges at the after school program during the first week of school. I’m glad he did. He played it way too much over the summer and I was wondering how I was going to wean him with school back in session. That was resolved with his losing the game. What about the other games he has? This one was different because he beat everyone. Yes, my son, the competitive feller. My son who gets a defeatist attitude when making the slightest mistake. I pointed out a minor writing mistake so he could do it right next time. He reacted as if he lost a ball game.

His sister got him into Neopets and she also installed AOL instant messenger (AIM) on his computer. I can live with these. Why? With AIM, you have to read and type. He’s in first grade, so yay literacy. And Neopets? It also involves reading and typing.

Outside? Yes, he still goes outside to play. The problem is that no one else comes out. Considering I loved play games myself, I don’t knock my kids playing. It’s about balancing. Eating a balanced diet. Living a balanced life. I played a lot of sports, so that gave me the exercises I needed.

This started out about women and gaming and ended up being about kids and games. Our lives and priorities change. If I was single, my time would be spent differently (obvious point, I know) — but not all of it. I’d still work. I’d still make time for reading, exercising, and volunteering. Instead of being a wife and mom — I might be a gamer, traveler, and playing volleyball on an adult team.

Off track here again. I don’t like many of the “hot” games out there. If I had time, I’d play Super Mario Sunshine, Animal Crossing, Harvest Moon, Sonic Hedgehog, and The Sims — yes, The Sims! I do play games (mostly puzzles from Astraware) on my Palm Tungsten T3 when I get stuck somewhere like the doctor’s office.

But, no, I never played games like Yu-Gi-Oh, Grand Theft Auto, Turok, Metroid Prime, Resident Evil, or any of the typical games you see covered on Lunabean. I did play Castle Wolfenstein way back on my old Apple ][+ or was it //e by then?

Who cares which gender likes which games. If you have a crew playing games together — then it should be about enjoying the game not about women lashing out at a game’s disgusting antics. There is another time and place to do that. If I like to play Grand Theft, then by golly what’s wrong with joining the group of guys to play the game?

Geekwoman wrote an article in response to Aaron’s original. She covered the kinds of things I would address if I played these games. She writes, “There are plenty of women gamers who are just as dedicated to the same games as guys. And some of us are even as well endowed with flat stomachs, too, just like some of the avatars that we use to represent us in our games. A figure like that takes lots of blood, sweat and tears to maintain.

“Some of us frag harder with words than with weapons. That’s where I come in, and why this article was conceived.

“I grew up in an era where women strived for the freedom to be sexual. Women fought for the right to work in the sex industry and obtain biological freedoms such as birth control and safe abortions. I would hate to see all the accomplishments of women’s liberation lost to future generations of women due to the current puritanical fads and censorship.”

“But why???” the child asks.

“Because I said so,” says Mom.

I’ve been on both sides of this conversation. This second answer, however, doesn’t satisfy my oldest, who presses for details. Then, I have to respond, “You don’t have to know everything.” Still, I’m sure every mother has said this famous phrase. This book has 33 stories written by 33 intelligent women who happen to be mothers.

Stories cover the gamut of breaking cultural rules, losing a successful business and starting over, dealing with divorce, moving to a foreign country and leaving your children behind, facing a difficult situation when the kids love the nanny as much as the mother, and other topics that many of us would never dream of confronting. For those who have faced such situations, these stories remind us we’re not alone.

I don’t know how to do these stories justice with this review. I feel like a friend sitting across from the author of the story, telling her tale as if I were her best friend because of the intimate details she shares. The stories don’t have a hint of whining children, male bashing, or “woe is me” moaning. After reading a story, don’t be surprised if you wish you could meet the author and become her friend.

Instead, meet a Muslim woman who deals with the stigma of having a child out of wedlock in “The Scarlet Letter Z.” Meet a woman whose father killed himself when she was young and she didn’t find out till eight years later — then her own husband was killed leaving her a widow at 34-years-old with a child on the way in “On Giving Hope.” Meet a woman who arranged to have a dinner with her husband at a five-star restaurant and everything prior to the event goes wrong as she explains, “Why I Can Never Go Back to the French Laundry.”

Mothers sometimes feel disconnected like their lives are all about their children and their activities. Reconnect by reading these essays and take strength in knowing there are smart women who happen to have the title of Mom added to their list of roles and accomplishments. They talk about motherhood beyond sleepless nights, potty training, carpooling, or food battles.

Read stories about autism, spousal abuse, growing up, babysitters, dolls, parents-to-be from different races, and a single woman having two children by artificial insemination. Expect to learn life lessons from these stories as these women have grown from experiencing life. You might walk away with something you didn’t have before reading the book.

I am stunned by some of the revelations as I can’t imagine admitting such things to a friend much less to a faceless public, which no doubt includes family and friends. The honesty reminds us that it’s OK to feel or think this way — it doesn’t make us bad, just human.

The essays vary in length so a mom can squeeze a little reading between feedings, a few minutes before going to sleep, while waiting in the carpool line, or during lunch break. Any time spent with this book is gratifying and worth every minute.

Title: Because I Said So
Author: Camille Peri and Kate Moses
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0060598786
Date: May 2005
Format: Hardcover
Pages: 400
Cover Price: USD: $24.95 Amazon: $16.47

This review covers two children’s books based on the movie of the same name: Kicking & Screaming: The Comeback Kids and Kicking & Screaming: My Dad, the Coach. The books target kids ages four through eight, use color photos from the movie and readable text for emerging readers.

In Kicking & Screaming: The Comeback Kids, the Tigers soccer team loses every game and have few skills to help them win. To make things worse, the dad who becomes coach knows little about the sport. Dad gets lucky because famous football coach, Mike Ditka, lives next door and agrees to help coach the team. After giving motivational speeches and putting the team through drills, the Tigers still lose games.

Ditka has an idea. He introduces the coach Dad to two kids who work in their uncle’s butcher shop. Soon enough, the team learns the new kids play well and begins winning games. The coaches tell the boys to get the ball to the two kids and let them take care of the rest.

Kicking & Screaming: My Dad, the Coach begins with Sam’s grandfather trading him from the first place Gladiators soccer team to the worst team in the league, the Tigers. Team doesn’t have a coach. So Sam’s dad steps into the coaching role and recruits two talented players who lead the team to its first win. Soon, Dad becomes all about winning just like his father, Sam’s grandfather.

The story is similar to The Comeback Kids except it focuses on Dad’s coaching and his growing desire to win while sacrificing teamwork. The Comeback Kids highlights the team and the road they take to start winning games.

The books, like the movie, won’t be classic. They’re somewhat awkward as the author has the challenge of translating the movie into books for easy readers. They teach about competition, good sportsmanship and teamwork. The two books are much alike, so one or the other would be enough if you want to invest in an average children’s book.

Though Meryl was a competitive athlete while growing up, as a parent, she’s appalled by what’s happening in kids’ sports and how parents have become obsessed with their children excelling. Hey, remember, “Fun?”

Title: Kicking and Screaming: My Dad the Coach
Title: Kicking and Screaming: The Comeback Kids
Author: Catherine Hapka
Publisher: Harper Kids Entertainmnet
ISBN: 0060772557 (My Dad, the Coach)
ISBN: 0060772549 (The Comeback Kids)
Date: April 2005
Format: Paperback
Pages: 32
Recommended ages: 4 – 8
Price: Cover: USD$3.99 Amazon: $3.99 (Dad)
Price: Cover: USD$3.99 Amazon: $3.99 (Comeback Kids)

I have a degree in elementary education, but I am not comfortable working with kids because I sound different and worry about understanding them. Obviously, I love kids as I have three of my own (the youngest turns two at the end of this month,—sob). Anyway, my kids’ school PTA has a program in which volunteers help tutor kids at schools that need extra help. I couldn’t do it.

I finally got the opportunity to work with kids without a single worry. In2Books is a program where adults mentor kids and share a love for reading with them. It’s all done by mail and email. I get a grade-level appropriate book (I have two fourth grade students in Washington, DC), read it, and then write a letter about it to the students. Each book cycle (there are five total) covers an type of book. So far, we’ve had fiction, social studies, biography, and folk tale. The next, and final, book is science-related.

The program started last summer. I had to put together a poster with pictures about me (jpg). Boy, that was my first art project in ages that was my own and not my kids’. Art is not one of my family’s stronger suits, but I did the best I could. Oh boy, I’ll have to do another one soon for next fall’s program. Anyone want to help?

Parents and teachers are comfortable with the program since volunteers like me type our letters in Word and email them. In2Books reviews the letters to ensure they’re A-OK. We don’t mention our last names and we use In2Book’s address, although it’s cool to say where we’re from.

The students don’t get to cheat. They have to write their letters by hand and In2Books scans them. It’s great seeing their handwriting and artwork. Although, I had some trouble reading a scan or two since the text was so light. Probably done in pencil.

Right now, students are mainly in Washington, DC schools and some Chicago schools. It’d be awesome if this program can go widespread, but it’s going to take a lot of volunteers and support to make it happen. After all, there is email to review, mail the books, and scan the student letters.

If I can do it… anyone can. I’ve got two jobs and neither one is parenting, which also takes up much time (and an enjoyable one… most of the time). I’ve had to find creative ways to volunteer in the past two years because of Paul’s job situation and my overloaded schedule.

Here’s an article that was in the Chicago Tribune and requires free registration… yeah, yeah.