It doesn’t cost you anything to lower some pain and better manage stress. In fact, you already own it. You may know it as noodle or the little gray cells. Meet your mind.

Since reading Healing Back Pain by John Sarno, M.D., I experience much less back pain than I have in the past. Sarno says that much of the pain we experience comes from our stresses turning into physical pain. Instead of the mind accepting and handling the stresses and problems, it shuts itself off and converts the stresses into physical pain.

Of course, we can’t solve all of our problems, or at least, not fast enough to avoid the pain. What we can do is learn to accept them and tell ourselves that we’re aware of the problem.

Studies Show Psychological Connection between Mind and Back Pain

Many studies from universities and published in journal have proven the following points that Sarno makes in his book:

• Many patients with cracks in their discs or thinning discs experience no pain.
• The source of many patients’ back pain has been psychological — in how they deal with stress.

To give you a specific reference from Health Psychology journal, a study led by Robert Kerns, Ph.D. shows that using psychological treatments (alone or part of a multidisciplinary approach) decreased back pain more than any other treatment. Search for back pain and psychological intervention, and you’ll see many results.

Stress affects your health. Our caveman brain deals with some problems in “fight or flight” mode. Instead of hitting or running away, we tend to experience hearts beating faster, blood pressure climbing, adrenalin hopping and body aching.

Put Your Mind to Work

I bring up this subject to share how it has helped my back problems and to share how I’ve been dealing with recent stresses.  A report from a standard checkup arrived in the mail requesting a follow up. At first, my stomach flipped and my mind wandered everywhere refusing to return to work. The report even says that the results turn out to be harmless for the majority of people who need this follow up.

I needed more comforting than that. The follow up doesn’t occur for another week — it was the soonest I could get in. Well, I don’t have time to dwell on this especially since it’ll be a few more days before I get results. So how do I refocus? I told myself that the medical staff wants to be on the safe side and double-check things. I also reminded myself that even though it means the pain of another appointment and more time away from work, I’ll rest easier knowing the results are very accurate.

After doing that, I felt less antsy and moved on with my week.

No Worrying Allowed… Not True

I’ve read Dale Carnegie’s How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. Great advice. I put it to work. Still, I worry and dwell on things. It’s OK to get mad, sad, depressed, frustrated, whatever. The trick is not to let it interfere with your life for too long. Go ahead and do the woe is me routine for a little bit. While this routine may not bring progress, it helps us deal with the situation in a way that comes natural to us.

You may not be able to solve the problem right away (or ever, in some cases) or feel better, but you can move ahead with your business. This is where I do the “I accept the problem and I’m doing the best I can to work through it, so don’t you dare turn it into pain” routine. I get right back to work within a day. (unless it’s weekend, then I leave it until Monday.)

This thinking is how I dealt with tests back in my school days. I didn’t have confidence that I’d do well, but it never stopped me from studying hard and doing my best. I know that experts say that negative thinking leads to negative results and so on. But some of us can learn to let the thinking be while doing our best to achieve the opposite.

Funny — I just came across this tweet: “Don’t take negatively about yourself – you may just start to believe it.” @leadtoday. I agree that it can be true — it’s all how you manage it and what you do about it.

How do you deal with stress and difficult challenges?

Writers tend to be  an insular lot. Let’s face it, we work on our own, stuck in our own headspace, most of the time. We sit in front of our computer, or if we’re particularly old school, typewriter, and venture nary a toe into the outside world. (Sometimes all day, sometimes all week!) As a result, we also tend to rank pretty high on the pasty scale (oh, sunshine, how we miss your warm embrace and supply of vitamin D).

Most of us choose to work from home because we think it will give us freedom to lunch with friends, go grocery shopping early, hit daytime classes at the gym and so on. But how many of us do these things? If you’re like me,that would be zero. I find that writing from home has only allowed me the freedom to shower (much) later than I used to. I now sit in front of my computer all day long, waiting for the next job to come in. I even got a laptop so I could work outdoors, but I never do. So what’s the problem?

Thou Shalt Be Creative… NOW

As writers, we are, by necessity, creative. In fact, we often need to be creative on command. This grows tough over time. After all, we don’t often inspire ourselves. The things that make us creative usually come from an outside source and if you’re stuck playing the me-and-my-computer game, you are going to hit the limits of your ingenuity. You may counter, as I have, that you can get all the outside help you need on the internet, but it’s not true. Writers need to get out of the house, not only to improve the quality of their work, but to improve the quality of their lives.

For one, you can only focus on a task for so long before you need to reboot your brain with a break. The brain suffers from energy drain just like a battery. Sitting in front of a computer for hours leads to work that is boring, repetitive and sloppy. I know, I’ve done it. And it’s usually followed by a request for a rewrite.  A simple grabbing coffee (or insert beverage of choice) with a friend or reading the paper in the park rejuvenates your mental facilities and ready to work again.

Humanity Demands Social Interactions

Besides that, we are social creatures. Even the most introspective people crave human contact and interaction, so don’t let yourself fall into a funk and neglect your social yearnings. Join a class or make ongoing dates to meet with friends, and do not cancel! Look at the time away as your reward for hard work and make every effort to enjoy it to the fullest. Freedom is the best reason to work from home, so take advantage of it. Do you know how many people would love to set their own schedule instead of feeling caged like a cubicle-monkey?

As a freelance writer, you have the flexibility to develop an active social life, so don’t let yourself become isolated. It not only affects your work, but also it has a negative impact on your mental and physical health (not to mention your relationships). Creativity demands a variety of sensory input, so leave the old ball and chain (and keyboard) at home and take a zumba class at the gym, meet your friends for lunch or go see that awful movie that you can’t get anyone to go see (et tu, MacGruber?).

Your work (and your well-being) depends on it!

About the guest author: Alexis Montgomery is a content writer for Online Colleges who gives advice on the pursuit of higher education and living a healthy life. In her free time she enjoys reading, writing, and spending time with her family and friends.

Welcome to meryl’s notes blog (this here place you’re lookin’ at) in Plano, Texas. We’re honored to be a stop in Lisa de Nikolits‘ WOW! Women On Writing Blog tour.

Lisa’s book, The Hungry Mirror, tells the fictional story of a woman who starves until she finds herself trapped into a seeming-sanctuary cage of addictions walled by self-hatred and filled with doubt. She discovers the value of size zero is also zero. This novel doesn’t do the typical adolescent anorexia thing. Instead, the character is an adult who continues to function as a designer and wife despite being anorexic, bulimic and obsessed with her body image.

About Lisa de Nikolits: Originally from South Africa, Lisa has been a Canadian citizen since 2003. She also lived and worked in the U.S.A., Sydney, Australia, and London, England. She graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and Philosophy and contributed to various international anthologies. She has been an art director on Vogue, Vogue Living, marie claire and Cosmopolitan. Visit www.lisadenikolitswriter.com for information about the book and www.lisadenikolitsdesign.com for more information about her career as an art director. You can order the book at Amazon Canada and Inanna.

This Book Versus That Book by Lisa de Nikolits

“I’m writing a book on how to bounce back from bankruptcy,” my editor friend told me. “I’ve done the first chapter.”

“I’m doing a cookbook, you wouldn’t like it, I use a lot of oil,” my art director friend said. “I’ve finished two chapters.”

“I’m writing a book on being a life coach,” my women’s group facilitator said. “I haven’t started yet, I’m taking the summer off to focus on it.”

“Write a screenplay that I can make into a movie,” an editor friend advised.

“I’m writing young adult novels, and I came this close…” a freelance copyreader said.

“The money’s in murder, mystery and crime. Write a bestseller,” my brother-in-law insisted at the dinner table.

“Tell everybody about your book,” the account executive said to the creative director at a meeting about a photo shoot.

The creative director flushed red, said she had only thumb-nailed the intro really, and changed the subject.

Everybody’s writing a book, it seems.

It took me fifteen years to develop my book from quickly scribbled short story to a 344-page finished product. And mine proved to be a novel on women, eating disorders, body image and the like.

“Self-help always sells,” my family said approvingly.

Uh, no, it not self-help. Not by any means. It’s an up-close and personal look at the world of adult women who suffer from a range of eating disorders.

Not an easy book to write. Not an easy book to read.

“An unconventional treatment of eating disorders, which are often presented in fiction as merely an adolescent phase. De Nikolits shows how such disorders can in fact continue into adulthood. The sufferer appears fully functioning, while in reality their body obsession permeates every facet of their lives… an uncomfortable read…” says a review in the May issue of Canada’s Quill & Quire. But, it adds, “a thoughtful and strong conclusion.”

Doug O’Neill, Canadian Living Magazine commented, “In The Hungry Mirror, Lisa de Nikolits cuts straight to the bone and slices open the gut-wrenching hurts of a circle of self-conscious (and mostly self-critical) characters who are obsessed with weight and body image. De Nikolits takes us to the dark side of a Bridget Jones world where cliques of media-savvy women gather round the water cooler – but where real pain is exposed in broad daylight. The pages of The Hungry Mirror are a gluttony of references to bulimia, calorie counts, and bingeing, but de Nikolits’ real message is about cravings – cravings for self-acceptance, cravings for love.”

Many were the times I hoped the book wouldn’t ever be published. Did I have the courage to be the banner-bearer of this message?

Oh, far easier to write a murder-mystery, coming of age, self-help, cookbook that could be made into a screenplay and movie.

But something about this book wanted to live. This book, The Hungry Mirror, climbed and clawed its way to life, its message insisting on making it to the finish line of being printed.

And there it is, my voice, my message. This is the book I wrote. Not that one, but this.

How do you deal with comments from family and friends about a dream or project? Or share your thoughts about book authoring.

Image credit: Cecile Graat

In her latest issue of The Prosperous Writer, Christina Katz asks, “On a scale of one to ten, how’s your self-respect? Can you say no? Do you say yes to yield to social pressure and supposed-tos and then suffer for it? Are you catering to too many other people’s needs but burning out in the process? Do you listen to and trust your instincts about what is and isn’t the best way to proceed?”

I aim for balance when it comes to my writing business and personal life. I love the flexibility that comes with my business. Spending time with my family, taking care of my health and contributing to my community are all priorities in my life.

• Family: I chose to have a family and that involves spending time with them. It doesn’t mean spending hundreds of dollars on vacation or expensive activities. It can be as simple as reading a book together, playing a board game or sitting at the dining table.
• Health: If I don’t take care of myself, I won’t perform my best for clients, family and others. I believe in “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” When I don’t get seven to eight hours of sleep, I function at 50 percent the next day, if that. Staying up a couple of hours late isn’t worth the effects it would have on the following day.
• Community: Contributing to my community matters because it takes a village to take care of our world. Without programs and people, many things would never happen to make a difference in people’s lives.

Every year, I gain a couple of new assignments, which often take me out of my comfort zone because they’re new.  Already, I have a new gig that is different that pushes my boundaries while I have fun. I maintain a variety of clients because I enjoy the diversity of the work. Plus, if one should go out of business (knock on wood), my business won’t fall apart because I still have other gigs. I’ve been fortunate that I bring in new clients on a consistent basis.

I thought about creating a course that I’d teach by email. After long deliberations, I opted not to do it. Developing a course not only requires pulling together strong, interactive content, but also promoting it and keeping it fresh. As much as I love the subject, I didn’t have enough confidence that I’d have enough enrollment on a regular basis. Furthermore, I’ve noticed those who do well in offering such classes tend to speak a few times a year and have at least one known published book.

I’m comfortable with giving presentations, but uncomfortable with the answering questions part — a very critical part of the two-way interaction. So that’s not a priority in my business, but I wouldn’t turn down free travel and the opportunity. If it happens, I bring index cards so people can write their questions down or send it  to me on Twitter. Sure, I’ve written two books, but they’re not focused on my expertise.

Because I’m not a high energy person, every opportunity that comes my way receives careful consideration. I do what I can to avoid overwhelming myself and keeping my work streamlined.

How’s your self-respect?

Photo credit Sheila VooDoo

I had surgery last week (doing fine, thank you), so I prepared ahead of time not knowing how much time I would miss work and blogging. I had no desire or energy to work for three days. By the fourth day, I could do a little work. Yesterday (one week after the surgery), I worked all morning and wore myself out by lunch time.

Here are the tasks I did to prepare my business for a little hiatus. It’d work for vacation and other times off from working. Unexpected time off is a different story (you can prepare for the unexpected with a contingency plan).

1. Notify clients: I emailed all of my regular clients about three to four weeks ahead of time.
2. Get ahead: Wherever possible, I wrote extra articles and completed assignments that would be due during the week of the surgery and after. I also found time to do work on the weekend before the surgery.
3. Finish projects: I had a couple of projects that had an end. I finished both before surgery.
4. Schedule a blog post: Christina Katz saved me on this one. We had an interview that I entered in my blog before the surgery and scheduled it to go live while I was in recovery. It’s OK to publish one time during the week, which is what I have done for the past month or so.
5. Use a laptop: My laptop plays a regular role in my business even though I rarely travel or work in coffee shops. It allows me to work in in bed, on the sofa or elsewhere in the house where I can be comfortable.
6. Send email with a cell phone: I couldn’t decide between a BlackBerry or iPhone. I’m glad I went with the BlackBerry because it handles email better. I am rarely too sick to send a short email message. Although I didn’t have a BlackBerry at the time, I used a cell phone to send an email to clients when I unexpectedly went in the hospital. If your cell phone’s email app isn’t great, try mail2web.com‘s mobile app. Google also offers mobile Gmail for different phones.
7. Do administrative tasks: Are your invoices due? Do you need to balance your bank account? Do you need to submit time sheets? Do all of this beforehand.
8. Transfer assignments: I always have an editing assignment around the first of the month. I told the writer to send the articles to another editor since I would be out. I’m grateful that some clients I work for have teams so we can back each other up.
9. Delete less important emails: I deleted email newsletters and other informational emails before, during and after to take the pressure off of me in keeping up. I also read some newsletters in bed with my phone or laptop when I couldn’t do much else. You might consider changing some of your subscriptions to “vacation” status, but I never do this as I have too many.
10. Remember it’s OK not to work: Avoid putting so much pressure on yourself to get things done, blog or participate in social networking. You need to take care of you! It doesn’t matter if it’s recovery from illness or catching up after vacation. It’s easier to get your groove back when you keep it low key.

What other tasks did you do to prepare for time off?

Tags: health, surgery, vacation

Due to a big family event coming this month, I’ve been trying to get work done ahead so I can take a few days off. Alas, I came down with the flu and have been in slow mode all week. I only had one bad day where I stayed in bed all day — the flu usually knocks me off my feet for three days.

Over the years, I’ve picked up remedies, cures, and tricks like anyone else. Some work. Some don’t. Here are some of the ones I use or others claim that work for them:

* Vitamin E: Don’t go to the canned or refrigerated juices for this, however, because they’re pasteurized. Get it from the real fruit, Halls Fruit Breezers (my go to flavor is Citrus Blend), or a good quality brand of vitamins.

* Take Echinacea the minute you feel “something coming on.” This never worked for me.

* Drink lots of fluids that don’t have caffeine or other chemicals that steal the fluids right back from you. Water is best, of course.

* Pour hydrogen peroxide in your ears the minute you feel “something coming on.” One guy claims he has never gotten sick as a result. I tried it, but still got the flu.

* REST! In spite of knowing I have a big event to prepare for, I listened to my body and took a whole day of rest. Though I felt a little better yesterday, by the afternoon I was ready to crash. So back to bed for a nap.

* Cut the workload. I told one client I couldn’t complete an assignment with a difficult to make deadline. Which do you want? Tell the client you can’t do something or turn in a lousy work product?

* Ask for Tamiflu and request it for family members as a preventative. One family had a member with the flu AND pneumonia. Everyone took Tamiflu and no one got the flu. In my family, when my son got the flu — my other two kids took Tamiflu and we adults didn’t. We adults got the flu, the other kids didn’t. Warning: The liquid form (for kids weighing less than a specific amount) is hard to keep down. Both kids gagged on it. My son and I both had flu shots, too. Problem with the flu is that it comes in different strains.

* Wash hands often. My kids give me a hard time about this.

What works for you?