Turning 30 wasn’t as I had hoped. Being the youngest of three by a gap, I was used to feeling young and always younger than everyone else. As I entered my thirties, I felt depressed whenever the ages of a football star, actor, or big shot manager appeared in an article. They were such big successes and not even 30. There I was, in my thirties believing I had accomplished little outside of raising a family. After all, anyone can become a parent and not anyone can become a CEO or best-selling author.

Reading each story, my reactions ranged from “I’ve been there!” and “I remember that!” to “Never been through that, thankfully, but I understand.” And “OK, maybe being 30 had good points.”

In reading books like these, a collection of true and intimate stories, you sense that you’re there listening to a best friend or being a fly on the wall hearing stuff that you would otherwise never hear. Great collections do just that and The May Queen succeeds. Any gal in her thirties will feel less solitary while reading the stories.

Flor Morales shared her experience of going back and forth between El Salvador and California where her family shamed her for cheating on her husband, an alcoholic. She proceeded to tell her tale of crossing the border for good to pursue a better life with another man.

In my twenties, I wanted to climb the corporate ladder as high as I could go. But my expectations started toppling after my second child arrived when I was 29 and not a manager. Slowly, I began to change wanting instead to climb the family ladder with an occasional nudge from a career success. It turned out, from reading these stories and others about us Gen-Xers, we struggled with the “having it all” in our twenties and as we matured, we came to appreciate life more as we understood successful careers were nice to have, but not something that made life completely meaningful.

In “My Missing Biological Clock,” Megham Daum pondered her lack of interest in becoming a mother in spite of society’s pressures of “having it all.” So every story isn’t about horrific or incredible things that happen to others and not us.

Ayun Halliday’s “A Random Sampling Age Thirty to Forty” resembled a list more than a story, but what an insightful list! Read a random sampling of things that happened between ages of thirty and forty and compare those to things that happened between ages of 10 and 20 and 20 and 30. This fast-read will instantly cheer up anyone struggling with having lived three decade of their lives.

With 27 stories of varying lengths in over 250 pages, busy women in their thirties can easily read a story in between feedings, during lunch break, traveling somewhere exotic or whenever they find a moment to simply take pleasure in a good story. As a mom of three with my own freelance business, it was effortless to take a break to read one story at a time and feel another ounce of appreciation for life in my thirties.

Title: The May Queen: Women on Life, Love, Work, and Pulling It All Together in Your Thirties
Author: Andrea N. Richesin
Publisher: Tarcher
ISBN: 1585424676
Date: March 2006
Format: Paperback
Pages: 288
Cover Price: USD: $14.95 Amazon: $9.72

Author Dan Poynter has written over 100 books. Think he knows something about publishing? Not only has he written three digits worth of books, but he also has a publishing company that publishes and distributes many quality articles, resources, and books about publishing.

Writing Nonfiction is an easy, educational, fast, and enjoyable read. Poynter goes through the authoring and publishing process from idea to marketing. The end of chapter one has a numbered list of the 18 steps to do this. [ Read more... ]

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Author Dan Poynter has written over 100 books. Think he knows something about publishing? Not only has he written three digits worth of books, but he also has a publishing company that publishes and distributes many quality articles, resources, and books about publishing.

Writing Nonfiction is an easy, educational, fast, and enjoyable read. Poynter goes through the authoring and publishing process from idea to marketing. The end of chapter one has a numbered list of the 18 steps to do this.

Poynter explains “The New Book Model,” which takes books from page-layout format to printing them on high-speed laser printers. You can read about it on Para Publishing’s site (http://www.self-publishing.com/sites/para/resources/newbook.cfm). While this sounds like something that’s going to age the book quickly, it won’t because the fundamentals of writing a book change little over time. These include selecting a topic, researching, building a binder and getting organized, creating a title and subtitle, and working through the writing process.

Useful quotes like literary agent Michael Larsen who said, “Books sell five times faster when displayed face out,” appear throughout the book. The binder and information about testimonials are worth the book’s price as few people know about these processes. This impressive book packs a lot of valuable advice in its short 150 pages. In sum, the book walks the talk and is a prime example of its lessons.

Title: Writing Nonfiction
Author: Dan Poynter
Publisher: Para Publishing
ISBN: 1568601107
Date: January 2005
Format: Paperback
Pages: 144
Cover Price: USD: $14.95 Amazon: $9.72

Second generation actor Alan Alda shows there’s more to him than being a celebrity. If you’re looking for a kiss ‘n tell kind of book, keep looking as you won’t find it here. Though for a brief moment, he does get a little “Hollywood-esque” and lists the women he has kissed in his career. Instead, the book takes readers on a trip through Alda’s life beginning with his childhood winding its way through M*A*S*H to his work on West Wing. M*A*S*H is covered in only a fraction of the book.

Alda writes about his relationship with his mother who had a mental illness, something unspoken of in the past. He shares stories of standing in the wings watching his father perform on stage and eventually sharing the spotlight with him. His life before M*A*S*H is hardly different from any actor struggling to succeed though his being Robert Alda’s progeny helped a little. However, his success is ultimately his own, not of his father’s.

He tells how he met his wife of over 45 years and what life was like for his family, which includes three daughters. Life has not always been cushy for the actor as he contracted polio, pinched pennies, came close to death a couple of times on stage and was hospitalized in Chile due to the blockage and strangulation of his intestines.

The book’s unusual title comes from what happened to his dog after he died and why he wouldn’t take a pet to a taxidermist again. He discusses how he works to improve his acting skills thereby demonstrating his love for his profession.

This is an actor who has a mind and uses it. He describes his obsession with systems and how he came up with one for betting on horses. His hosting Scientific American Frontiers is no shock after reading about his experience with logic class, connecting Greek comedies with burlesque, and speaking to legislators.

Never Have Your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I’ve Learned is an honest and thought-provoking book that follows this actor’s life, during both good and bad times, and his intellectual pursuits. Anyone who reads this profound book without preconceived notions will learn a few things about life in general and not just about the actor’s life, which is uncharacteristic of a Hollywood autobiography. With humor and a warm-hearted writing style, Alda grabs readers from page one and easily carries them through the end.

Title: Never Have Your Dog Stuffed
Author: Alan Alda
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1400064090
Date: September 2005
Format: Hardcover
Pages: 240
Cover Price: USD: $24.95 Amazon: $15.98

After reading this book, I have decided to skip the review to enjoy the extra time. Oh? I have to write it? That’s “wage slavery!” according to author Tom Hodgkinson who uses that term for “jobs.” He reveals his life changed for the better once he trashed his alarm clock. By the way, I’m not really a “wage slave,” as I don’t get paid for these reviews — just plain “slave.”

The book covers a 24-hour period with each hour represented in an essay that starts with a quote and a sketch depicting the chapter’s topic. The author opens with “Waking up Is Hard to Do” at 8 a.m. and immediately attacks the quote many of us relate to when it comes to waking up — Benjamin Franklin’s “Early to bed…” philosophy. Hodgkinson recalls his mother screaming at him to wake up and now he starts his mornings as an idler by “sleeping in for a few more minutes.”

In the first hour, he attacks Mr. Kellogg of Corn Flakes fame with humor, and explains that the assault against oversleeping started as far back as biblical times with a quote from Proverbs chapter six. Then Hodgkinson presents proponents of sloth like G.K. Chesterston who writes in his essay On Lying in Bed, “The tone now commonly taken towards the practice of lying in bed is hypocritical and unhealthy; instead of being regarded as it ought to be, as a matter of personal.”

The hours that follow continue with the same approach while addressing different themes from ’sleeping in’ to the hangover, to the art of the conversation and holidays. Every essay includes quotes and resources from the likes of Jerome K. Jerome, Winston Churchill, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, and more to rally support for the idle life. Each hour stands on its own feet, so you can take your time and read them whenever.

This author doesn’t give advice on organizing your time so you can relax and take pleasure in life. Rather, think of it as the side of a debate that urges we sleep in, take naps, make time for tea, hang out at the pub, and live in our dream world. The author addresses the issues that affect the idler’s life and tells the reader how to continue the merry idle way in spite of these barriers. Even some of the smartest minds in history did their best work in bed.

Stories about inventor Thomas Edison, the enemy of idleness, say he slept only three or four hours a night because he liked to work at night and do his experiments during the day. It turns out, based on several witnesses; the inventor took naps in his lab.

The book needs an index, but perhaps the author convinced his editors to take it easy, so they skipped it. With the many references to people and quotes, it would be nice to find something I read without working that hard to scan the pages.

The book is a mixture of literary criticism, tongue-in-cheek wit, and insight into our society’s neglect of the idle life. Readers desiring to become more familiar with the literary authors and other sages get a touch of these folks through their writings, comments, and actions on work and laziness. Hodgkinson writes a convincing manifesto for living easy and embellishes it with a diversity of classic resources.

Take a moment to relish your life; work can wait.

Title: How to Be Idle
Author: Tom Hodgkinson
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0060779683
Date: May 2005
Format: Hardcover
Pages: 304
Cover Price: USD: $18.95 Amazon: $12.89

Writer’s Market 2006 has arrived. I’ve written a review on past editions and it’s tough coming up with something new to say about it. The articles that appear prior to the markets are helpful especially, “How Much Should I Charge?” Providing quotes is my second least favorite thing… well, maybe first. The other one being making “cold calls” to find more clients in need of my services. In terms of pricing, I want to be fair to the client and to me. Having this article as a resource provides a sanity check to see if I am charging too much or too little.

“Before Your First Sale” gives a 30,000-foot view of things to do in working to make the first sale whether it be an article or a book proposal. It doesn’t cover everything, but it’s brevity makes it easier to read and it offers tips that many beginners and some intermediate writers won’t know about.

Queries are tough to do. I haven’t had much luck there — but I do mostly business-related writing since the work makes the best use of my time and I already have experience in this type of writing. “Query Letter Clinic” reviews what to do and what to avoid. It also shows a few good and bad examples of queries.

The articles section of the book has about 85 pages. The articles together offer writing career advice covering much of the main areas including:

* writing groups

* email communications

* interviews with successful writers

* the business of writing

* overcoming writer’s block

* online PR

* book signings (ooh, I wish!)

According to the book, there are over 600 new listings for a total of 4,000 listings of book publishers, magazines, trade, and literary agents. I’m not about to get out the 2005 copy and try to compare — so I trust the editors when they make this statement. The year will be over before I finish

Though I rarely do queries and have yet to do a book proposal since the first one got axed — the Writer’s Market is on my must-buy book every year especially now that I’m a full-time content maven.

Title: 2006 Writer’s Market
Editors: Kathryn S. Brogan, Robert Lee Brewer, Joanna Masterson
Publisher: Writer’s Digest Books
ISBN: 1582973946
Date: August 2005
Format: Paperback… HUGE
Pages: 1178
Cover Price: USD: $29.99 Amazon: $19.79

“But why???” the child asks.

“Because I said so,” says Mom.

I’ve been on both sides of this conversation. This second answer, however, doesn’t satisfy my oldest, who presses for details. Then, I have to respond, “You don’t have to know everything.” Still, I’m sure every mother has said this famous phrase. This book has 33 stories written by 33 intelligent women who happen to be mothers.

Stories cover the gamut of breaking cultural rules, losing a successful business and starting over, dealing with divorce, moving to a foreign country and leaving your children behind, facing a difficult situation when the kids love the nanny as much as the mother, and other topics that many of us would never dream of confronting. For those who have faced such situations, these stories remind us we’re not alone.

I don’t know how to do these stories justice with this review. I feel like a friend sitting across from the author of the story, telling her tale as if I were her best friend because of the intimate details she shares. The stories don’t have a hint of whining children, male bashing, or “woe is me” moaning. After reading a story, don’t be surprised if you wish you could meet the author and become her friend.

Instead, meet a Muslim woman who deals with the stigma of having a child out of wedlock in “The Scarlet Letter Z.” Meet a woman whose father killed himself when she was young and she didn’t find out till eight years later — then her own husband was killed leaving her a widow at 34-years-old with a child on the way in “On Giving Hope.” Meet a woman who arranged to have a dinner with her husband at a five-star restaurant and everything prior to the event goes wrong as she explains, “Why I Can Never Go Back to the French Laundry.”

Mothers sometimes feel disconnected like their lives are all about their children and their activities. Reconnect by reading these essays and take strength in knowing there are smart women who happen to have the title of Mom added to their list of roles and accomplishments. They talk about motherhood beyond sleepless nights, potty training, carpooling, or food battles.

Read stories about autism, spousal abuse, growing up, babysitters, dolls, parents-to-be from different races, and a single woman having two children by artificial insemination. Expect to learn life lessons from these stories as these women have grown from experiencing life. You might walk away with something you didn’t have before reading the book.

I am stunned by some of the revelations as I can’t imagine admitting such things to a friend much less to a faceless public, which no doubt includes family and friends. The honesty reminds us that it’s OK to feel or think this way — it doesn’t make us bad, just human.

The essays vary in length so a mom can squeeze a little reading between feedings, a few minutes before going to sleep, while waiting in the carpool line, or during lunch break. Any time spent with this book is gratifying and worth every minute.

Title: Because I Said So
Author: Camille Peri and Kate Moses
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0060598786
Date: May 2005
Format: Hardcover
Pages: 400
Cover Price: USD: $24.95 Amazon: $16.47

The Dance of Fear is the book formerly known as Fear and Other Uninvited Guests. The name change most likely came as the result of author Harriet Lerner’s other Dance book titles — Dance of Anger, Dance of Intimacy, Dance of Deception and so on. It’s catchy and good book marketing.

Lerner uses her experiences, patients’ experiences, and other people’s experiences — a valuable way to teach what fear is as it has many meanings and situations that bring it on. She doesn’t throw, “Do this…” out there or make claims you’ll get past your fear in one day. Instead, she shares the stories of several patients who had to deal with a challenge over a period of time.

Lerner covers rejection, anxiety, change, the workplace, looks, and when things fall apart. When it comes to addressing fear, only one thing is guaranteed — one solution does not fit all. What helped Anne Morrow Lindbergh cope with the loss of her infant son won’t necessarily work for someone else.

The message is that we all face fear in spite of our education, knowledge, courage, or any other characteristic that supposedly makes a person fearless. When we accept fear as a natural occurrence in our lives, we learn to deal with it better than if we didn’t accept that.

Some who see a book classified as psychology or self-help run away. It’s understandable as such books can be too sugary sweet, too philosophical, full of annoying affirmations, or full of exercises. This one has none of these characteristics. Heck, it makes you laugh. It doesn’t even mention OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and it has a drop of panic attacks, but not from someone who is dealing with panic / anxiety disorder. It’s about the fear all humans experience, not just those with an illness.

As a result of this book, I walk away with a better understanding of fear and its cousins, shame and anxiety. I’m not cured of anything. Instead I have gained insight into this strong emotion and should have a better handle on it the next time I dance with it.

The Dance of Fear has none of the big words that Lerner learned in medical school. Instead of quoting complex theories, she uses meaningful quotes you may have come across. The outcome is a book that reads like a friend wrote it and who happens to be knowledgeable on this topic.

Title: The Dance of Fear
Author: Harriet Lerner
Publisher: Perennial
ISBN: 0060081589
Date: May 2005
Format: Paperback
Pages: 238
Cover Price: USD: $13.95 Amazon: $11.16

How many times have you written an email only to find an error as soon as you hit Send? When writing an email to a friend or family, most of us rarely do a second read to check our work because we take a relaxed approach with such emails. An article to a magazine, a book chapter, or a short story, however, requires formal editing.

“But isn’t that the editor’s job?”

The authors say, “Yes and no.” They explain the editor’s purpose is to polish the work and not rewrite your work. The writer looks good in the editor’s eyes when turning in an “almost finished product.” Not only do you make the editor’s work easier when rechecking your product, but also it earns you a better reputation.

Writers aren’t the only ones who benefit from Write It Right. The College Board’s National Commission on Writing conducted a study that concluded a third of employees in America’s blue-chip companies wrote poorly and businesses were spending up to $3.1 billion per year on remedial training (2004). Newspapers like the New York Times published the statistics from the report to show the gravity of the situation in the U.S.

The five chapters in the book make up the five steps for self-editing. Each chapter ends with “Questions for Self-Reflection” to help readers determine what areas need working on, so they focus on those while self-editing. The first chapter ends with a grammar quiz, which is the book’s paradox. It has two errors. One question misses a word that appears in the answer and another has a typo.

While following the five step process feels lengthy, the authors include advice on what to do when in a hurry. Writers can judge how much to review their work and adjust the process as needed.

The basic advice consists mostly of common sense, the things we learned in school or through experience. However, the book shows how to find your weak areas and work with them. The authors do an impressive job covering all the bases in this small book by tackling the editing process, giving a handful of grammar tips, and providing checklists. It takes less than an hour to read straight through without completing the suggested activities.

This little guide has a good chance of coming in handy rather than sitting on a bookshelf never to see the light of day. The easy-to-scan format, checklist templates, short list of rules, and examples increase the probability of the reader using it.

Biblio:
The National Commission on Writing (2004) Writing: A Ticket to Work… Or a Ticket Out [Internet] New York, College Board. Available from: <http://www.writingcommission.org/prod_downloads/writingcom/writing-ticket-to-work.pdf> Accessed 14 June 2005

Title: Write It Right
Author: Dawn Josephson and Laura Hidden
Publisher: Cameo Publications
ISBN: 0974496626
Date: September 2005
Format: Paperback
Pages: 144
Cover Price: USD: $17.95 Amazon: $12.21

If the book were titled, All Marketers Are Storytellers, would you consider looking at it? Godin brought up this point in the book and it clearly explained what he means by “liars.” Of course, he didn’t insult marketers as he belongs in that category. But “storytellers” would be nothing new.

Though he didn’t use “storytellers,” the book addresses how to use stories to help the business succeed. The book grabbed me at the start, but then it got slow in different parts. What I appreciated most were the examples of storytelling or “fibbing.” Godin did point out that fibbing doesn’t mean the same thing as fraud. He provided two examples. Can you tell which Godin identifies as a fib and which is fraud?

*A wine glass maker claims wine tastes better in his glasses.

*A company says you can call anytime to hear the president of the company’s voice and the voice introduces himself as such. It turns out the voice is an actor as the president died over 50 years ago.

The second would be the fraud. It’s a story that turns out not to be true and customers feel tricked when they find out. No one can prove the glasses don’t make the wine taste better; therefore it’s good storytelling because it leads people to believe the claim might be true and the product is worth trying.

John Stossel of ABC News did a report on bottled water and discovered people are convinced that tap water is bad while bottled water is cleaner, safer, and tastier. The news report conducted a taste test of four brands and tap water. Tap came in third while the most expensive, Evian, came in last. And in first place? The cheapest bottled water, K-mart’s brand.

Telling a story doesn’t guarantee everyone will be fooled into believing what you hope they’ll believe, but the bottled water example proves many bought into that story.

Godin goes deeper because telling any ol’ story doesn’t equal great results. Other factors come into play even before your product or service comes to life. Have you noticed cereals have new labels such as “100% whole grain” or “15% less sugar than the original”? What do you think drove the cereal manufacturers to change the labeling in some cases and to create a new formula in others? The low-carb craze. It was their way of staying in the game when much of the world changed its view on what foods to eat and what to avoid.

Godin quotes Malcolm Gladwell whose best seller, The Tipping Point, no doubt led the way for his second book, Blink, and even recommends the latter work. Everyone I’ve talked to who has read both books has little good to say about Blink and some didn’t think much of The Tipping Point. This praise is the only quarrel I have with this fine and thought-provoking book, but it makes me leery of the rest of the book recommendations (only 13 in all) because of this point. Technically his praise of the book could be called “fibbing.”

The book provides examples of how small businesses, large businesses, and service-oriented businesses succeed with the storytelling approach. Any business can learn from the book’s concept. It took little time to read and gave a good overview about how businesses create and sell their stories.

Title: All Marketers Are Liars
Author: Seth Godin
Publisher: Portfolio Hardcover
ISBN: 1591841003
Date: May 2005
Format: Hardcover
Pages: 208
Cover Price: USD: $23.95 Amazon: $16.29