The book is based on Land’s Web site of the same name, spamletters.com, which I discovered a few years ago and submitted a letter. The spam letter in question is about hydrogen peroxide and it’s included in the book (p. 112). The original letter is presented along with Land’s creative and hilarious reply to the spammer.

He takes on the role of lawyer, doctor, pastor, casting director, and woman (Joan). Pastor Land is the proud pastor of Church of Our Mistress of the Perpetual Blonde where he spent the ’80s importing hydrogen peroxide he baptizes his brethren through the blonding process. If anyone knows how he can get 500 gallons of the stuff, contact Pastor Land.

That’s what Land has been doing, replying to spammers, and in some cases, the spammers have written back and those are included in the book. He produces works of fiction (don’t tell anyone) and for once, spam is fun instead of an aggravation.

If the book is based on the Web site, why should we read the book? Here are the reasons:

1. There are many letters; it’s difficult to read more than a few online.
2. It’s great reading material away from the computer and the Internet.
3. Laptops don’t handle beach sand, ocean water, or other exotic locales very well.
4. After a lousy day at work, who wants to get on the computer at home? Get a good laugh with the book instead.
5. The book organizes the letters by topic and you can see which ones have replies from the spammers.
6. A book doesn’t make your legs go numb like a laptop on your lap while in the bathroom.
7. No downloading time involved!

You can try before you buy by going to the Web site and reading the letters. Also, check the table of contents to find out what letters are included in the book. Bet you’ve received over half of them. Take out your spam frustrations by reading Land’s retorts. Those who like reading humor books will enjoy this one, it’s one-of-a-kind.

Oh, if you’re one of the few people who buys books at those stores with bricks around them — you can’t miss this one. It’s bright pink. Odd, eh? At least, it will be harder to lose the book since it sticks out like a sore thumb.

Title: The Spam Letters
Author: Jonathan Land
Publisher: No Starch Press
ISBN: 1593270321
Date: June 2004
Format: Paperback
Pages: 336
Price: USD$14.95
CDN: 19.95
UK: 11.99

That guy is hot! That guy is cool! Hot and cool are opposites, yet they mean the same thing when talking about that guy. My Polish grandmother is going to polish her silverware. Amazing what a difference a capital P makes. The knight rides at night in the rain and gets pneumonia. Here we go again with weird English usage. Kn, n, and pn are pronounced the same.

English has many rules not found in other languages. For instance, most languages use articles with every noun. A, an, and the aren’t always chaperoning the nouns, which is a challenge for non-native English speakers to learn.

English speakers are no help when they get their own language wrong. For example, many use anxious and eager interchangeably. When you’re excited and can’t wait to do something, you’re eager. Anxious means feeling nervous where there is anxiety. If a child says, “I’m anxious about going to school,” is she looking forward to it or is she uneasy about it? It’s the latter.

Woe Is I covers this and other problems in the “Verbal Abuse” chapter. The infamous lie and lay; who and whom; farther and further; and bad and badly are covered. Did you know hopefully is used incorrectly? I’ve been guilty of it and it’s hard changing the habit because it fits at the beginning of a sentence or acts like an introductory word. While we can start sentences with actually, thoughtfully, and happily; hopefully doesn’t belong with the introductory clique. It’s an adverb. O’Conner writes, “…introductory words that we use not to describe a word, which is what adverbs usually do, but to describe our own attitude to the statement that follows.”

Would you believe that saying, “I’m nauseous” is incorrect? Well, if it’s true, it means you make other people nauseated. Nauseous is the something that makes you sick. Those suffering from morning sickness say, “I’m nauseated from the nauseous pregnancy (or coffee smell, perfume, or whatever causes it).”

O’Conner does a fine job of clarifying the problems and explaining the correct usage. In a few places, the explanation isn’t suitable and the reader might not understand how to do it right after reading it.

With chapter titles like “Therapy for Pronoun Anxiety,” “Comma Sutra,” and “The Possessives and the Possessed,” it’s easy to infer the book adds a dash of humor. Having written a few articles on grammar with humor to make it fun and easier to remember, I’ve learned how hard it is to do it. Don’t expect to fall down laughing, but look forward to a smile here and there.

The talk of grammar books for this year is Eats, Shoots & Leaves. If having both books is not an option, which to choose? Easy. Pick Woe Is I. Eats is for those who have a shelf full of grammar books and have a love of grammar. It’s not a good book for lessons on improving grammar although there are tips. There are more rhetoric and stories than how tos. Woe Is I offers advice on how to write right throughout the book.

Final lesson: If the word is singular, add ‘s regardless of its ending including proper names like Alex’s and Alexis’. Yet, a few pages later, the book indicates it’s customary to drop the final s when using possessives in ancient classical names like Hercules’ and Achilles’. Don’t you love the English language?

VITAL STATISTICS:
TITLE: Woe Is I
AUTHOR: Patricia T. O’Conner
PUBLISHER: Riverhead Books
PUBLICATION DATE: 1996
ISBN: 1573226254
FORMAT: Paperback
PAGES: 227
PRICE: USD: 12.00
CDN: 18.00
UK: 9.48

Google doesn’t have an official manual, so Google: The Missing Manual steps in. The super search engine has a multitude of features many don’t know about. The authors do a first-rate job of describing its features and demonstrating how to use them.

When I start a search, Google is often the first place I go. Over time, I’ve learned of its new features and applyied tricks here and there. I have found the words to a song when I could only remember a handful of words. The song is no rock ‘n roll hit or anything played on the radio. It’s a geography song I learned in third year Spanish in high school. Using a few of Google’s tricks, the full lyrics appeared quickly.

Heck, save money with Google. A search engine that saves money? Indeed. Froogle is the word, nice play on frugal there. Enter the item and it provides results with prices. I use it for comparison shopping to ensure I get the best deal. Thanks to Froogle, I located a hard to find item for my niece’s birthday gift.

The book covers every trick I’ve learned and read about and taught me a few more. A call comes through, but the person doesn’t leave a message. The CallerID shows the phone number and a company name, but it doesn’t ring a bell. When I enter the phone number in Google, it provides three results (boy, talk about bad luck as a couple of companies who had the phone number went out of business) and it dawns on me it is the new family doctor, which is why the number is familiar. The company appearing in CallerID is the telecommunications company provides the services. In some cases, teleco names show up instead of the business or residents’ names.

The Google API (application program interface) is not covered although it is mentioned as a resource. The purpose of the book is to show how to use Google from a non-programming and non-techie perspective. The authors have accomplished the goal. They briefly cover using Google on Web sites as a search tool and for Ad Sense.

Those looking for hard-core Google tips using the API obviously won’t find it in this book. This is a book for all the non-programmers and non-Web designers. Scanning the book takes little time and it’s an excellent reference since it’s well organized in five parts: techniques, unknown Google, search tools, Google for Webmaster, and an appendix with resources. Also extra nice is the authors’ coverage of other browsers besides Internet Explorer when referencing browser-based tools that work with Google.

One of the reasons the company is popular is for its simplicity. Its home page has hardly anything other than its logo and a search box. The book continues the theme by keeping it simple.

VITAL STATISTICS:
TITLE: Google: The Missing Manual
AUTHORS: Sarah Milstein (Editor), Rael Dornfest
PUBLISHER: Pogue Press
PUBLICATION DATE: May 2004
ISBN: 0596006136
FORMAT: Paperback
PAGES: 311
PRICE: USD: 19.95, CAN: 28.95, UK: 13.95

Thank goodness for the digital camera. People like me with a lousy eye can take hundreds of photos and experiment until our eyes fall out and get a couple of gems. Despite my left-handedness, I don’t have a natural eye for photography, art, or anything of the sort. It all went into writing.

With three kids, photos are important to me as I want to capture many times of their lives so we may reflect on them with a visual aid. A good photo does make a difference. Again, with three kids, who has time to read a book or take a class to become one with a camera? The Digital Photography Pocket Guide fills that need.

It has three simple chapters with quick reference tables in the back of the book. It’s small enough to fit into your camera bag, laptop case, briefcase, suitcase, or jacket pocket. The chapters address What is it? What do I do? and How do I? questions.

What is it? covers the basic, intermediate, and advanced features found on digital cameras. It’s the shortest chapter as once you get familiar with the features, you won’t need the chapter anymore and you still have roughly 85 pages of material to support you when you’re out there trying to capture the world you see.

Once you’ve conquered the buttons and figured out what most of the symbols and modes mean, you’re ready to dig deeper into the features and gain control of the camera with answers to your what does it do? types of questions relating to exposure and Flash compensation, white balance, ISO speed, and resolution.

The last chapter is more free flowing as you and the camera have become one. Get tips on taking outdoor and group shots including sporting events where players are moving fast. Capture kids, travel spots, and wedding memories with class. As kids grow up, you may not return to the same places, and weddings happen only once (we would hope, unless it’s a renewal of vows).
Adding this book to your camera tool bag is a step forward to better pictures and a better understanding of those fancy photography terms – which aren’t a big deal after you read author Derrick Story’s simple and clear explanations.

VITAL STATISTICS:
TITLE: Digital Photography Pocket Guide, 2nd ed.
AUTHOR: Derrick Story
PUBLISHER: O’Reilly & Associates
PUBLICATION DATE: December 2003
ISBN: 0596006276
FORMAT: Paperback
PAGES: 160
PRICE: US$14.95

We encounter politics in our lives daily, and it’s not just the kind we see in Washington, DC. It’s handling delicate situations in just the right way with the right words and the right actions to avoid making it worse or more uncomfortable.

It can be a simple case of the harried volunteer who can’t take on any additional work, but fears losing respect or her position for future projects when she has more time available. It’s hard and awkward to turn down an opportunity or project, but it’s necessary. What is a good way to do it? Power Phrases.

Are you trying to negotiate a deal on a car, a house, or even a potential new job? Are you trying to make the sale? Handle a conflict? Communicate with your boss, co-workers, or direct reports? Heck, do you have a hard time breaking the ice in social situations? All of these situations can be daunting, but Power Phrases can take the edge off and get you the results you want.

As the book suggests, I read through it in its entirety the first time to get familiar with the concept and how it works. Then, when I am ready to put Power Phrases to practice, I whip out the book and get some ideas. Plus, there are exercises to get you in shape.

With e-mail being a regular communication tool for most of us, it’s a great way to make Power Phrases a habit. Since there is no spur of the moment thinking in creating an e-mail, take the time to review the book and determine the best way to word the e-mail for a given situation.

Another opportunity to practice it is when making a phone call on a tough topic. Prior to making the call, review the book and think about what you want to say, write down your thoughts, and try to have possible counters to the person’s questions or concerns.

Many of the lessons in Power Phrases! are based on things I’ve learned over the years in management-related classes, seminars, and reading self-improvement articles and books. The book provides a reminder of all these lessons in one shot. It applies to all facets of life: work, home, and social. Even if you work independently with little or no contact, it’s impossible to hide from a situation when a Power Phrase can come in handy.

How often have you been asked something and you instinctively and quickly said “yes,” but regretted it? Perhaps you can easily say “no,” but what of the person’s feelings that could be negatively impacted with a fast “no” answer? Or maybe you need more time to think it over? Ah-ha! A Power Phrase can help you here and buy you more time.

Buying time gives you a chance to think it through and look for good Power Phrases to use in providing an answer. Suggestions:

* Let me check and get back to you.

* I need to think it over and I’ll have an answer for you tomorrow (or appropriate time).

Everyone should have a book like this to provide support in everyday life, although I think the comment on the book – “Better than any college degree” is a little too enthusiastic. In college, we rarely get lessons on people skills and this book offers that. Even the most voracious readers like me have too many unread books or once read and never opened again. However, this book is written in a way that it makes it easy to quick-reference and find the perfect phrase for a given situation. Plus, reading it the first time only took a few hours on an airplane.

To borrow a Power Phrase – How important is it to get results by saying what you mean, meaning what you say, and not being mean when you say it? If it’s important, then you should know what to do after reading this review.

David Morrell’s name may not sound familiar, but his works should spark recognition. Rambo. Brotherhood of the Rose. If you haven’t read them, you may have seen or heard of the Rambo movies or TV miniseries. Who can forget Sylvester Stallone as Rambo in his black headband with his exposed sweaty muscular chest holding a machine gun with fury? Read the review of Lessons from a Lifetime of Writing.

My five-year-old finds the old camera with batteries still in it, but no film. He flashes away at everything in the house making us all blind. I plan to get him and his older sister a digital camera with a memory card, so they can take as many pictures as they want and nothing is wasted. Bad photos don’t die, they just get deleted and don’t cost a dime except they use “battery energy.”

This book from the O’Reilly hack series differs from the other in that it has color images. Since there are colored images, the headers are blue instead of traditional black and that’s why the book costs a tad more than the other Hacks books. The landscape photos are spectacular, so you get a little bit of art along with instruction in the book.

Straight lines and I don’t get along. The only way for me to draw one is to have a ruler, but it can still be slanted unless I do other precise measuring to ensure it’s straight from end to end. The first series of hacks covers tripods, travel-sized to one made for a bike. As expected, learn how to capture magic with flash and take professional portraits with a two flash-setup.

The hacks aren’t just hardware-related. Receive tips on taking daylight and nighttime photos with and dealing with kids, whiteboards, passport photos, panoramas, and other objects. (Kids aren’t objects, mind you). Almost 100 pages cover using the computer and software like Photoshop to manipulate images.

A chapter covers camera phones, providing creative ideas for their use. The chapter is brief, so those without an interest or a camera phone won’t feel like a few bucks have been wasted. The next time you’re bored, go to the projects section near the end of the book for ideas on what to do with photos. Such projects are guaranteed to keep you busy for hours and having fun in the process; maybe with a little frustration thrown in as what good project ever works perfectly?

Who will benefit from the book? Those who want to learn the things the pros do without spending time experimenting. Those who aren’t afraid to experiment or try new techniques. Those who want to make a camera do things without buying expensive equipment like professionals use. Traditional photographers making the move to digital will benefit. The group that won’t benefit are the folks who use a camera on vacation or on special occasions and snap at everything in sight without a worry about how subject is lined up.

VITAL STATISTICS:
TITLE: Digital Photography Hacks: 100 Industrial-Strength Tips and Tools
AUTHOR: Derrick Story
PUBLISHER: O’Reilly & Associates
PUBLICATION DATE: May 2004
ISBN: 0596006667
FORMAT: Paperback
PAGES: 332
PRICE: US$29.95

Draw your customers in with a handful of powerful copy. No, no, you don’t have to go to college to make it happen nor do you have to buy a doorstopper-sized book, which gets dusty before you muster the strength to crack it open.

Are you like me? A kid in a candy store when it comes to books? You buy every self-help or non-fiction book to bring in more business. One problem. When do we have the time to read them? This book simply won’t let that happen with its short chapters, personable style, and valuable information on how to keep visitors clicking until they make the buy. This book is the how. How to take all the theories and whys discussed by other authors and make it happen. I have trouble with theories because they don’t help me visualize the application of such theories. This book stays away from whys and shows you how.

Don’t believe me? When I started reading the book, several big projects got thrown my way leading to late night reading being replaced by late night working. Every now and then, I took a break and breezed through this book reading many pages in a brief time while gaining new knowledge and a refresher in creative writing as it applies to online copy.

Non-fiction is my thing when it comes to writing. Over time, I have forgotten creative techniques for adding spice to copy. The authors jolted memories of high school English classes where we learned about the different poetic styles (iambic pentameter, alliteration, meter, etc) and to avoid using passive verbs. Not only that, but also they cover how to write for different personalities.

Already getting high traffic to your site? Good for you! That means you know how to draw attention and interest. But, how are you doing in building desire so that they take action? Hmm… could that be the challenge? The authors drive toward long-term results by engaging your visitors and leading the way for them to get what they need and be satisfied with it.

I’m familiar with a few techniques discussed in the book, but many may not be. It depends on what you do with regard to the Web site. I understand making a Web site usable and getting visitors to the site. My Web site’s weakness is converting visitors into customers. Marketing pros may succeed with creating a desire, but have trouble with visitors taking action. The authors cover all the areas needed to persuade via the Internet from “notice me!” to “be happy with me!”

Are you thinking, “More technology! We need more technology to make this work?” We’ve taken technology for granted, but all it can do is what human programmers program it to do. Technology doesn’t know human nature. It doesn’t know how to feel or need something. People do and can convey what they know with words. Words make the sale. Technology ensures the words get their say (by quickly loading the Web page and functioning the way it should) and to push the sale through the back-end process (taking the order, managing inventory, etc.). This is where conversion principles apply. The authors share simple processes for improving conversion rates.

A splash page is the “introduction” page to a Web site. It’s flashy, colorful, and cool. But it’s a waste of time. It gets in the way of the core material. Customers don’t care how good your designers are, they care about what you can give them and that comes through words and good online copy. It’s time for the online world to get what print mastered many years ago. The authors’ witty writing style makes the book enjoyable to read without sacrificing wisdom. They practice what they preach and it’s no wonder that GrokDotCom.com, the site behind Future Now, Inc. is a success.

Time has come to let go of what’s in it for the company and think of what’s in it for the customer. In time, you shall reap the rewards at the bank.

VITAL STATISTICS:
TITLE: Persuasive Online Copywriting
AUTHOR: Bryan Eisenberg, Jeffrey Eisenberg, and Lisa T. Davis
PUBLISHER: Wizard Academy Press
PUBLICATION DATE: September 2002
ISBN: 0971476993
FORMAT: Paperback
PAGES: 176
PRICE: US$18.00

Blogging tools can be used for more than just blogging or keeping an online journal / diary. People use them to manage their sites because they’re less complex than the full-fledged Content Management Systems (CMS). Plus, they’re cheaper and the people using these tools are using them for their personal or small business sites.

Movable Type (MT) is a blogging tool that I’ve been using on my site for several years. This is not a review of which software is the best, but on the book’s usefulness in getting a person up to speed on MT. On that note, the authors do a first-rate job of helping the reader learn how to use MT.

As a person who is experienced in using MT, it provides me with a few tips and tricks I hadn’t considered. Since I’m self-taught, I missed a few steps. Besides, there are many things you can do with MT especially when adding plug-ins.

For the person who has never touched a blog or MT in particular, the authors start at the beginning and keep things simple. Realistically, how do you write a book that meets the needs of the experienced while introducing the new users to the software? Experienced users will probably skip the first few chapters where it covers installation and setting up a blog. But the rest covering templates, plug-ins, managing archives, and adding features will more than provide enough to keep anyone busy.

Not only do the authors show how to use MT, but also they offer information on how to write and promote content. The book focuses on v2.x of MT. As I understand it, MT v3.0 doesn’t have major changes and much (if not all) of the book is still valuable. You could wait around for a v3.x book, but by the time it comes out the software will have upgraded. Blogging tools upgrade very frequently and I use seldom use the word “very.”

The MT online doc is one of the better blogging software documentation I’ve seen. The book offers accompanying pictures and additional information not found in the help doc. If you like getting all of your information in one place accompanied with visual aids, this is sure to please.

VITAL STATISTICS:
TITLE: Teach Yourself Movable Type in 24 Hours
AUTHOR: Molly Holzschlag and Porter Glendinning
PUBLISHER: Sams
PUBLICATION DATE: May 2004
ISBN: 067232590X
FORMAT: Paperback
PAGES: 448
PRICE: US$29.99

I’m obviously a stickler for grammar and enjoy finding grammatical errors, typos, and other funny goofs with the English language as evidenced in the Gotchas (new design coming) and the series I’ve written for Webreference. Imagine my excitement when hearing about this runaway bestseller in which the author takes a “zero tolerance approach to punctuation.”

It hasn’t been in America very long and already it has reached the coveted bestseller lists, and this despite retaining its British syntax. In reading the introduction, I was pleased to find the publisher had decided not to change the UK spellings, phrases, and even punctuation rules in the American version of the book. Hurrah! It would have been a nice touch to add a note regarding the differences in the rules of American and British grammar.

A couple of problems do come with leaving the British intact, however. A sign mentioned in the book is racist in American English and should have been omitted. Also present is the word “fag,” harmless in Britain, but a prejudicial term in the US. Not everyone realizes this.

Writing this review is stressful knowing the punctuation is going to be checked with a magnifying glass, while I remain true to what I have been taught. Here’s an example of where we disagree:

Rule eight in using apostrophe to indicate the plural of words such as do, don’t, but, and and. In reviewing my entire library of grammar-related books, a majority indicate the apostrophe is not needed when the context is clear. Thus, use dos, don’ts, buts, ands, Bs, CDs, and so on. Use the apostrophe when minding your p’s and q’s and trying to remember to cross those t’s.

Truss clearly explains the purpose of ellipses and [sic], two items that have confused writers and readers. Since this book has given me a renewed and refreshed outlook into punctuation, I’m on the lookout for more gotchas.

Those hemming and hawing at this review and the thought of saving punctuation won’t want to come within ten feet of this book.

Update: Someone asked me if this would make a good book for learning the grammar rules. No, not this one. This is more for people who know the rules and need a laugh. It’s the ‘fiction’ of grammar more than a how-to.

VITAL STATISTICS:
TITLE: Eat, Shoots & Leaves
AUTHOR: Lynne Truss
PUBLISHER: Gotham Books
PUBLICATION DATE: April 2004
ISBN: 1592400876
FORMAT: Paperback
PAGES: 240
PRICE: US$17.50