I try to avoid using any variation of is because that turns a sentence into telling instead of showing. Is and was appear less in my writing, but they slip (the little stinkers) in on occasion. These tips come from my journey to do more showing and less telling in my writing.
Before we dive into the tips, I notice that popular non-fiction writing tends to use fiction-style writing by telling a story or using a theme. It makes the content more gripping and less drudgey (I didn’t want to say “dry” — that’s another thing I work to avoid… using common verbs and cliches).
Use specific active verbs that tell what’s happening: poke, race, bounce, spring.
Use of quotes lets the reader “hear.”
Describe a person’s reaction to let the reader “feel” the emotions. “Her jaw fell while her forehead crinkled as the whites of her eyes appear.”
Use pictures with precise words. Just read the comments in this FWJ Caption This Creative Project.
Avoid bland and redundant phrases. “She is in shock.” Does the phrase above sound better? OK, so we often hear of jaws dropping or falling and foreheads crinkling. I just couldn’t come up with a different way to say it when I needed it.
Use the five senses to create an image. The nose knows, the eyes see, the ears hear, the fingers feel, the mouth tastes.
Describe a person’s actions instead of telling the readers what s/he feels. She pushes her chair back while feeling the stiffness and pain on one side of her back. As she struggles to stand, her voice lets out a groan ending with a crackle that almost sounds like a cry. With every slow step she takes, she urges her back to straighten a little more. What do you think of this?
What other tips do you apply to captivate readers? I love Amy Derby’s plan to start a punk duck series. In fact, when she brought up her plans for the series… it led to a fun and engaging discussion. I want to do something like that (yeah, I’m a thief), but these brainstorming sessions keep flopping.
Suddenly, Taking My Own Picture is hot. Hmm… I remember a couple of little sites called The Mirror Project and Picture Yourself. But I agree with the article that today’s kids are less self-conscious about getting their pictures taken. All my friends (me included) in their 30s and 40s, often say, “Oh, no! Don’t take my picture!”
Part of it is that I don’t want to look bad in the picture and part of it is that in-built thing that a person shouldn’t show-off. However, I think having a nice photo on a Web site, especially a business one, is important because it connects you with your visitors and clients — puts a face behind the company.
On the other hand, I remember looking for mother / daughter pictures and struggling to find any. No matter what I think of myself… it’s important to have a visual history of ourselves with the important people in our lives.
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