Wow. August… seriously? In three days? Followed by my older brother’s birthday. It’s a shame that he’s not active in social media or else I’d ask y’all to wish him a happy birthday — especially since his family is out of town. As far as brothers go, he’s a good one even though he fed me popcorn when I was a toddler.

Short ‘n sweet today.

Brain food…

• 5 Ways Crowdsourcing Can Help You Make Some Money. Have you used crowdsourcing? How?
• 5 Reasons Why Your Online Marketing Doesn’t Work. Excellent article at Writer Unboxed by Jane Friedman.
• 3 Reasons People Buy. Make money, save money and lower pain / frustration.
• Promotional Tools for Writers on Google+. Wanna connect there? gplus.to/meryl
• 7 Ways to Structure Your Picture Book. I’d love to write one… but it’ll have to join my growing list of “Somedays…”
• Writer’s Digest Successful Queries Series. Real query letters that landed agents.

And for fun because we’re allowed…

• 12 Awesome Items Inspired by Darth Vader. That gas mask. Oh, my.
• A Colorful Rubik’s Cube Birthday Cake for Geeks. Saw a similar cake process on Food Network in creating Mondrian Cake at San Francisco MoMa.
• Kia Stop-Motion Ads on Fingernails. Clever and message fits branding to a tee. [Link: Stephen Young]
• Phenomenal Paintings On Marshmallows. Too pretty to eat marshmallows? Nah, bring on the s’mores! Harry Potter edition is my fave.
• The Evolution of the Geek. From Geekus Prime to Gleek.

Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Meryl Evans

“Mom, I had fun,” said my youngest. That alone made last week’s family night out to the Texas Tornado hockey game worth it. Oh, they lost to Topeka Roadrunners, but being there provided a memorable experience for my husband and our two sons. Our teen daughter had no interest in going.

And all that in spite of my older son refusing to eat the BBQ buffet meal and my husband standing in line for an entire period. One of my clients invited us to the hockey game as part of its partner appreciation. We didn’t sit in the normal seats in the crowd. We went to a reserved area on the ground level behind one of the goals. It had tables and chairs and a buffet along the back wall. Popcorn, baseball hats, signed hockey sticks, pennants and programs decorated the black and gold tables.

I had an it’s a small world encounter when I entered the area. It was one of the tennis coaches who taught several of my classes a few years ago. Her husband also works with the client.

NHL vs. NAHL Experience

I’ve attended a Dallas Stars hockey game. The NHL Stars have nothing on the NAHL Tornadoes. If you’ve been to a major league and minor league baseball game, you can tell the difference. It’s the same way with the NAHL hockey game. Smaller arena, more entertainment, closer to the action. Although I grew up a big sports gal, hockey didn’t make my top list of sports. The Dallas Stars didn’t come to Texas until I was a teen and hockey wasn’t popular in Texas.

Watching the game on the ground level is a whole different experience than watching it way high up in the stands like I did with at the Stars game. At one point, I jerked in response to the loud crashing of players into the window near me.

Intermission

During the intermission, the boys got into a Porsche and rode in it around the ice. That may not sound exciting to you, but my boys — especially the older one — LOVES sports cars. It was the first time he rode in a Porsche. The girl on the other side of the cheerleader in the photo is the client’s daughter.

After that, the fans threw hockey pucks to try to get them in a small bucket in the middle of the ice. It was wild watching hundreds of flying pucks and only two landing in the bucket.

And another small world thing happened during intermission when kids from an elementary school choir sang. That elementary school was my kids’! What are the chances of that? First, the arena is in Frisco. The school is in Plano. Second, the Tornadoes played 34 games at that point. About half of that would be home games. So out of roughly 17 games, they sang at the one we attended.

I also met Ike, the team’s mascot. I’ve got a thing (no, not a fetish) for Mascots since seeing the San Diego Chicken when I was a kid. The chicken came to a Texas Rangers game and I had a blast watching his antics.

Freelancer Feels Like a Part of the Team

As a freelancer, I don’t have opportunities to attend corporate events like I did when I worked in the corporate world. One event took place at the old Texas Stadium in Irving (pre-Super Bowl 45 stadium) and one at Las Colinas Studios where TV shows film. Imagine how it makes a freelancer feel when she’s invited to a client’s event. One thing’s for sure — it makes you want to work harder (I already do, but it gives you renewed energy) for the client knowing they appreciate you.

It’s a Teeny, Tiny World

Though a local company (my only local client — Hint: Look on the window of the Porsche), I met Frank online. He created Fib or Not and hired me to do the copy for the game. Later, we discovered we lived within a mile of each other. When we first met, the little guy and girl in the Porsche were babies. Fast forward a few years, they are one year apart in grade at the same elementary school and we run into each other at school events.

Brain food…

• Phlixie: It’s tedious to find captioned instant download movies on Netflix. Phlixie is doing what Netflix should’ve done. They hope to expand it to other services. Yeah!
• Reading Judiciously: When I read — especially nonfiction — I try to look at the author’s writing and learn from it. Tough to do because you want to absorb the material, too. Kind of like multi-tasking brain. [Link: Elizabeth S Craig]
• The Query Letter That Won Me an Agent and a Four Book Deal (And Why It Was So Successful): That says it all.
• HTML5 Cheat Sheet: I still rely on my old yet in great shape VisiBone HTML card. It has high quality lamination.
• Claim Your Oscar: Worried about giving away too many trade secrets? Need not to worry.

And for fun because we’re allowed…

• Parents Shouldn’t Text: That should be “SOME parents shouldn’t text.” I think I’m a decent texter. Training my son on texting etiquette. [Link: Bitrebels]
• Light Show: Sensational!
• 13 things worth knowing about Super Mario: I had the mini Donkey Kong arcade toy. Memories…
• A cartogram done in real 3D: The material used? Legos. My mom has an beautiful book of map art. This will need to be in the next edition.

I’m honored to have another guest writer joining the blog. Wendy Burt-Thomas takes time out of her busy schedule to answer questions about queries and book authoring.

She is a full-time freelance writer, editor and copywriter with more than 1,000 published pieces. Her third book, The Writers Digest Guide To Query Letters hit stores in January 2009. To learn more about Wendy or her three books, visit Guide to Query Letters. If you have a writing-related question, you can also post it on Ask Wendy.

Please tell us about your book.

The book was a great fit for me because I’d been teaching “Breaking Into Freelance Writing” for about eight years. In the workshop, I covered a lot of what is in this book: writing query letters to get articles in magazines, to land an agent, or to get a book deal with a publisher.

Since I’m a full-time freelance magazine writer and editor with two previous books, this was incredibly fun to write because it didn’t require tons of research. I was lucky enough to receive lots of great sample query letters from writers and authors that I use as “good” examples in the book. I wrote all the “bad” examples myself because I didn’t dare ask for contributions that I knew I’d be ripping apart!

In addition to the ins and outs of what makes a good query, the book covers things like why (or why not) to get an agent, where to find one and how to choose one; writing a synopsis or proposal; selling different rights to your work; other forms of correspondence; and what editors and agents look for in new writers.

It was really important to me that the book not be a dry, boring reference book, but rather an entertaining read (while still being chock full of information). I was thrilled the publisher let me keep all the humor.

Why are query letters important?

Breaking into the publishing world is hard enough right now. Unless you have a serious “in” of some kind, you really need a great query letter to impress an agent or acquisitions editor.

Essentially, your query letter is your first impression. If they like your idea (and voice and writing style and background), they’ll either request a proposal, sample chapters, or the entire manuscript. If they don’t like your query letter, you’ve got to pitch it to another agency/publisher. Unlike a manuscript, which can be edited or reworked if an editor thinks it has promise, you only get one shot with your query. Make it count!

I see a lot of authors who spend months (or years) finishing their book, only to rush through the process of crafting a good, solid query letter. What a waste! If agents/editors turn you down based on a bad query letter, you’ve blown your chance of getting them to read your manuscript. It could be the next bestseller, but they’ll never see it. My advice is to put as much effort into your query as you did your book. If it’s not fabulous, don’t send it until it is.

A writer submits queries to publications she knows well and targets the audience, yet she gets rejected. Other than to keep trucking, what can the writer do?

1. Make sure you’re reading the writers’ guidelines – and following them. It could be that they no longer accept freelance features, they’ve shortened their word count, etc.
2. Me sure to at least skim the last year’s worth of issues. They may have run a similar topic a few months back.
3. Interpret your rejections. Are you getting the template check box that says “no thanks” or handwritten notes from the editor that say, “Good writing. Please continue to submit.”? A standard rejection may be about your writing, while a note may indicate that the specific article is just not a good fit.
4. If you’re getting encouraging rejections, drop the editors a line asking them if you can be included on their list of freelance writers – for assignments.
5. See if the magazine has an editorial calendar. Even an advertising calendar (sometimes included in the media kit) will let you know the focus for each upcoming issue. Try to pitch a piece that ties into an upcoming month – just make sure you pitch far in advance. A large magazine may be preparing its December 2010 issue in December 2009.

You’re also a magazine editor. What is your biggest gripe regarding queries?

Queries that show that the writer obviously hasn’t read our publication. I’ll admit that I did this when I was a new writer too – submitted blindly to any publication whose name sounded even remotely related to my topic.

One of the examples I use was when I submitted a parenting article to a magazine for senior citizens. Oops! A well-written query pitching an article that’s not a match for the magazine isn’t going to get you any further than a poorly written query.

There’s an entire chapter in the book about agents. Do you think all new writers should get agents?

Probably 99 percent of new writers should get an agent. There are lots of reasons, but my top three are:

1. Many of the larger publishing houses won’t even look at unagented submissions now;
2. Agents can negotiate better rights and more money on your behalf;
3. Agents know the industry trends, changes and staff better than you ever could.

You’ve been a mentor, coach or editor for many writers. What do you think is the most common reason that good writers don’t get published?

Poor marketing skills. I see so many writers that are either too afraid, too uniformed, or frankly, too lazy, to market their work. They think their job is done when the write “the end” but writing is only half of the process.

I’ve always told people who took my class that there are tons of great writers in the world who will never get published. I’d rather be a good writer who eats lobster than a great writer who eats hot dogs. I make a living as a writer because I spend as much time marketing as I do writing.

What are some of the biggest misconceptions that writers have about getting a book deal?

That they’ll be rich overnight, that they don’t need to promote their book once it’s published, that publishing houses will send them on world book tours, that people will recognize them at the airport. Still, you can make great money as an author if you’re prepared to put in the effort. If it wasn’t possible, there wouldn’t be so many full-time writers.

What must-read books do you recommend to new writers?

Christina Katz (author of Writer Mama) has a new book out called Get Known Before The Book Deal – which is fabulous. Also, Stephen King’s On Writing and David Morrell’s Lessons from a Lifetime of Writing: A Novelist Looks at His Craft. Anything by Anne Lamott or my Dad, Steve Burt.

What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned as a full-time writer?

Seize every opportunity – especially when you first start writing. I remember telling someone about a really high-paying writing gig I got and he said, “Wow. You have the best luck!” I thought, “Luck has nothing to do with it! I’ve worked hard to get where I am.”

Later that week I read this great quote: “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.” It’s absolutely true. And writing queries is only about luck in this sense. If you’re prepared with a good query and/or manuscript, when the opportunity comes along you’ll be successful.

What did you enjoy most about writing this book?

Writing the “bad” query letters. I’ve read – and written! – so many horrible ones over the years that it was a little too easy to craft them. But misery loves company and we ALL love to read really bad query letters, right?

What do you want readers to learn from your book?

I want them to understand that while writing a good query letter is important, it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. You can break it down into parts, learn from any first-round rejections, and read other good queries to help understand what works.

I also want them to remember that writing is fun. Sometimes new writers get so caught up in the procedures that they lose their original voice in a query. Don’t bury your style under formalities and to-the-letter formatting.

About Wendy Burt-Thomas
Wendy Burt-Thomas is the author of Oh, Solo Mia! : The Hip Chick’s Guide to Fun for One,Work It, Girl! : Productive and Fun Tips for the Hip Working Chick and Guide To Query Letters. Other credentials include more than 1,000 published articles, short stories, essays, reviews, poems and greeting cards.

She taught “Breaking Into Freelance Writing” for eight years and has worked as an editor, columnist, writer and PR specialist. Wendy lives in Colorado Springs with her husband, two kids and two black labs. She is a full-time freelance writer, editor and PR consultant.

Photo credit Peter Gustafson

I recently posted a query in Help a Reporter Out (HARO) that received the most responses ever — 50! I used only 23 replies because some were duplicates. Of those duplicates, I picked the best reply or person who thought of my readers instead of himself or herself.

What may bug me may not annoy another journalist and vice versa. Here are the types of responses I received that went into the trash pile.

Focused heavily on product: The query was asking for help with a problem. One person said to use his product. Yet another who gave the same answer used a generic noun and also has a product, but it was mentioned as an afterthought — not part of the main body of the response. And guess what? I included the link to the game.

Attached article written by sender: The sender’s article has nothing to do with mine. If it has answers to my question — then paraphrase it in the email so the response isn’t the same word-for-word.

Sent file without extension: One person sent a file with extension — oh, yeah, like I am going to open a file without knowing its format. If you attach something, it needs to have an extension such as .doc, pdf and .txt. You’d think this old practice would be dead by now.

Mentioned expert can answer question: PR person offers to set up an interview. My query clearly asked for answers to my question.

Quoted study without naming names: Someone quoted a study that showed a common product was not effective. It was along the lines of “A study showed that the average smoke alarm didn’t work 83 percent of the time.” Then it went to talk about a product that lowered those odds. Well, I wanna know who did the study because it’d be biased if it was the company’s own study.

Tried to make unrelated product or service fit when it was obviously NOT a fit. People who do this probably answer every query possible and tailor their product / service to fit the query even though it doesn’t fit. For example, tying in counseling services with a query about finance jobs. No go.

Failed attempt at kiss up: One person made a phrase using the letters in my name related to the query. Cute, but served no purpose. Like I am going to use the corny-sounding phrase in my story.

You might wonder about some of these responses. More details for those who want it.

Does this mean you can never mention your product or service? No. One person manages a site that provides a form for finding a provider nearest you. It fit the article and the person’s reply. Sometimes we writers DO want products — often it’s obvious from our query.

Does this mean NO attachments ever? I was OK with people who responded with comments within the email and attached a study or something relevant to my query. Here, the respondent answered my query and attached a file as an FYI.

It’s when people say, my answers are in the attached. Is it that hard to copy and paste, then edit? Writers like to quote studies, data and relevant information to add to the story. You save writers time when you add an attachment that doesn’t promote your business.

So you don’t want PR people contacting you? Not if it’s “Have I got an expert for you! Want me to set up a call” type thing. I’m fine with the PR person sending me the expert’s answer. Besides, I avoid phone calls when the ball is in my court. Don’t think it’d take much effort to figure out why.

Some folks took the time to take advantage of a personal fact I provided in the query. That was cool with me. I discovered a couple of great resources as a result. This doesn’t mean you have to learn everything about the journalist. Mentioning a fact or two is nice.

But Don’t Have the “Squareballs” to Do So

by Steve Kayser

One particular day, after receiving a rejection letter (the first among many that I’ve never acknowledged) I got a little ticked. I mean, c’mon, I just spent three months banging out 120 pages of the best screenplay America has never seen.

A classic.

A beaut.

It has the heart of Rocky the cherubic innocence of Forrest Gump, and the underlying spirituality of Gandhi. (You are now getting very, very sleepy … think "Acceptance Bridge," and get your checkbook out.)

A quick sale for sure.

I’ll be fair and take mid-seven figures against eight. Win-win! That’s my motto. But … what do I get?

A form letter.

But not just any form letter. A little, personalized, scribbled note was attached.

It said,

"You’re a good writer, but no real producer would touch this. Too much spirituality at the end. Think more commercial. How about bankers ripping off some people? And chases. Car crashes. Viruses. Diseases. They’re big right now. Oh — special effects. Magic. Need that too. Movies are all about special effects now. Don’t be such a smart writer. Dumb it down some.

"Get some reviews from someone too — someone with a title would be great. Define what demographic market your film appeals to, what merchandising opportunities and ancillary revenue streams could be available."

Squareballs (that’s my intellectual pen name) Gets Reasonable Advice

Okay, reasonable advice. Right? It was followed by this little mentoring tidbit.

Cartoons as Structure

"Watch cartoons to guide your story structure — they do it best. And watch movies where animals are the stars. Those are great dialogue-reducers. Relate it to movies you know. Something you can make a snap judgment on. Like Legally Blonde meets Gandhi I am busy you know. Send me another query when you think you can meet my needs."

Squareballs Ponders Reasonable Advice

Dialogue-reducers?

Meet his needs?

Dumb it down?

Basement Balcony Beckons

I stifled the urge to hurl myself off the basement balcony. It was tough. I bit my tongue, but did not overdose on 33 cheese coneys with extra onions, peanut butter, chocolate jelly (my favorite), mayonnaise, jalapenos and nuclear hot sauce.

But, being the consummate professional, I felt the need to follow up on his kind offer.

Here’s what I wrote back… and just for yucks, sent out to 50 other producers. (You think I’m kidding?)

Dear Omniscient, All-Seeing, All-Knowing, Producer:

I have a recently completed screenplay titled Pig and Turkey — a classic como-drama that I would like to submit to your company for consideration.

Dialogue Reducers Introduced

Think Babe and Woody Woodpecker freeing Willie.

A pig and a turkey join together to save their farm from an unscrupulous banker who is trying to foreclose on the property because he wants to turn it into a non-profit gambling casino.

Brings in the Banker and Disease Simultaneously (and brilliantly I might add)

The banker leaks to the press that "Mad Turk’s Disease" has infested the animals on the property.

Mad Turk’s Disease is an awful virus that makes your hair and nails fall out, causes you to get really disgustingly big facial warts, engenders disgustingly bad breath and uncontrollable flatulence.

The Dastardly Banker

The banker tricks them into jumping the Grand Canyon on a tricycle with two wheels saying he will stop foreclosure if they complete the leap. The leap is televised worldwide (Pay Per View).

The dastardly banker saws the ramp in half and Pig and Turkey are hurled head and beak-first into the Grand Canyon to a certain death.

A terrible, gut-wrenching moment, sure to bring tears to anyone with the least bit of a heart.

Magic and Special Effects Covered

Just when Death opens its jaws wide to receive them, Turkey finds her wings and transmogrifies like a caterpillar into … … a bald eagle, but not just any bald eagle.

"Eagle Kneivel"

Saving Pig and their farm.

Brings in Joseph Campbell

Pig and Turkey fight heroically to save their home and way of life while exhibiting upstanding morals and fulfilling the heroes’ mythical journey.

Pig and Turkey Fast and Furious (see the sequel potential you visionaries?)
Pig and Turkey zoom toward an unbelievable climax in a 32-car chase scene throughout 51 states (including Puerto Rico).

Great Review

My great-grandmother, Elsie Grunewald, a retired English teacher and author of 11 unpublished novels, thoroughly reviewed the screenplay and thought it was the best thing she’s read since War and Peace by Leonardo Coldstoy.

She has prepared in-depth critiques and analyses for your review, and she has also meticulously choreographed the camera shots. POV by POV.

Tremendous Opportunity Spelled Out

To whom may I send this terrific, sure to be a runaway Academy Award winner nominee, 297 1/2 page screenplay?

Oops – Almost Forgot Demographics and Ancillary Revenue Streams

And … did I forget to mention that it will appeal to the family audience and has great ancillary market revenue potential utilizing dolls, toys, bacon, lettuce, and turkey sandwiches sold through … probably McDonald’s?

Regards, Steve

P.S. Contact me at my Grandma’s house.

Now is that a piece of work or what?

Sucks doesn’t it?

I got 10 requests to read the damn thing.

About Steve Kayser

Although Steve has won multiple screenwriting awards and publishes an award-winning B2B e-zine with 35,000 subscribers, he is currently busy recruiting handsome, intelligent, bilingual pigs to audition for the lead part in "Pig and Turkey." If you are a handsome, intelligent, bilingual pig and are looking to break into acting, this may be your big chance. Contact Steve at skbigm@gmail.com.

****Disclaimer****

NO EGOS! Must be able to get along with a turkey who saves the day … at least until Thanksgiving!

OKAY, Really About Steve:
Steve Kayser has won screenwriting awards from: The Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Science Nicholl Screenwriting Competition, Writers Digest Screenwriting Competition, and Project Greenlight. He was also named a "Purple Cow" by best-selling author Seth Godin, featured in a Marketing best practices cases by MarketingSherpa, Innovation Quarterly, and B2B Marketing Trends. His writings have appeared in several magazines, including Business 2.0 and Entrepreneur Magazine, among others. Contact Steve at skbigm@gmail.com.

Read Steve’s latest:

• Through the Eyes of a Child … the Tsunami Generation
• Master Blaster VS Master Leaker … Seven Radically Different Steps to Brilliant Brand Building Buzz – Steve Kayser interviews Al Ries
• Heartbeats of Healing – A salute and celebration of people, process, and technology
• "Veni, Vidi, Tiré a Dos Burros." or "I came, I saw, I shot two donkeys." – Steve interviews Dave Stein, best-selling business author of How Winners Sell
• My Darling, Is That Manure Stick You Have on? Some world-class marketing screw-ups