Writers tend to be  an insular lot. Let’s face it, we work on our own, stuck in our own headspace, most of the time. We sit in front of our computer, or if we’re particularly old school, typewriter, and venture nary a toe into the outside world. (Sometimes all day, sometimes all week!) As a result, we also tend to rank pretty high on the pasty scale (oh, sunshine, how we miss your warm embrace and supply of vitamin D).

Most of us choose to work from home because we think it will give us freedom to lunch with friends, go grocery shopping early, hit daytime classes at the gym and so on. But how many of us do these things? If you’re like me,that would be zero. I find that writing from home has only allowed me the freedom to shower (much) later than I used to. I now sit in front of my computer all day long, waiting for the next job to come in. I even got a laptop so I could work outdoors, but I never do. So what’s the problem?

Thou Shalt Be Creative… NOW

As writers, we are, by necessity, creative. In fact, we often need to be creative on command. This grows tough over time. After all, we don’t often inspire ourselves. The things that make us creative usually come from an outside source and if you’re stuck playing the me-and-my-computer game, you are going to hit the limits of your ingenuity. You may counter, as I have, that you can get all the outside help you need on the internet, but it’s not true. Writers need to get out of the house, not only to improve the quality of their work, but to improve the quality of their lives.

For one, you can only focus on a task for so long before you need to reboot your brain with a break. The brain suffers from energy drain just like a battery. Sitting in front of a computer for hours leads to work that is boring, repetitive and sloppy. I know, I’ve done it. And it’s usually followed by a request for a rewrite.  A simple grabbing coffee (or insert beverage of choice) with a friend or reading the paper in the park rejuvenates your mental facilities and ready to work again.

Humanity Demands Social Interactions

Besides that, we are social creatures. Even the most introspective people crave human contact and interaction, so don’t let yourself fall into a funk and neglect your social yearnings. Join a class or make ongoing dates to meet with friends, and do not cancel! Look at the time away as your reward for hard work and make every effort to enjoy it to the fullest. Freedom is the best reason to work from home, so take advantage of it. Do you know how many people would love to set their own schedule instead of feeling caged like a cubicle-monkey?

As a freelance writer, you have the flexibility to develop an active social life, so don’t let yourself become isolated. It not only affects your work, but also it has a negative impact on your mental and physical health (not to mention your relationships). Creativity demands a variety of sensory input, so leave the old ball and chain (and keyboard) at home and take a zumba class at the gym, meet your friends for lunch or go see that awful movie that you can’t get anyone to go see (et tu, MacGruber?).

Your work (and your well-being) depends on it!

About the guest author: Alexis Montgomery is a content writer for Online Colleges who gives advice on the pursuit of higher education and living a healthy life. In her free time she enjoys reading, writing, and spending time with her family and friends.

Many professors and writers I spoke with on this subject, and their numbers are too great to list here, all recommend the same thing: Write a draft, correct it, consider correcting it again, turn it in.

Did you see those action items in the middle? Write a draft first. Know that it is a draft, feel that it is a draft.

Be the draft.

Draft means the work is not finished, it is not ready for turn in. It is crummy. A draft is fine piece of writing that is not ready for its close up. A draft gives you job security; you now have something to correct, review and read out loud.

Some writers want their product to be perfect the first time out. We get impatient, even with our own thoughts, certainly with our creative process. Getting it right takes so much time! The best advice, is to get comfortable with writing drafts, bad drafts, crappy drafts and you’ll discover how your writing will actually improve. Why? Because when you give yourself permission to write a really crappy first draft, you simultaneously discard perfectionism and brain cramping and give yourself permission to explore and improve.

When you consider everything else involved with dragging a manuscript to the publishing finish line, the draft is the best part. Drafts are fun, divergent, exciting, pointless and filled with authentic writing. Enjoy the process of bringing a novel, report or idea to life. This is the fun of writing, as you suspected, everything else is revision, not so much fun.

All papers for school, business, grants, even the family holiday newsletter should, at the very least, have two versions. (If you want to succeed in business without really trying, review emails at least once before sending.) A paper should have three phases of evolution, draft, corrected, final.

That draft? It will be the most fun you’ll have.

About the Guest Author: Catharine Bramkamp holds two degrees in English, published hundreds of newspaper and magazines articles, a handful of novels and two essays in the Chicken Soup for the Soul anthologies. She is an adjunct professor of writing for two colleges and is a successful writing coach. Visit her at www.YourBookStartsHere.com.

Meryl’s Young’un and the Sloppy Copy Experience

Meryl here. This article is perfect timing for my almost seven-year-old son. His school has a PTA-run program called “Bronco Press.” It gives children the chance to write and illustrate a story. I asked him if he wanted to do it. He did and wanted to get right to work. So he dictates his story while I type it. Here’s the first part:

I am a bird. I am black, white and a little tan in the middle. I can fly real high. I can swoop with my tail. And I can fly down and go up really fast like whooooooosh! I can fly really fast and slow, too.

My landings are real good. I can peck really good.

He says he can’t think of anything else. So I tell him to tell me a story involving this bird he described. Take the bird on an adventure. He continues:

Then one day when I went flying I crashed into a jungle because I saw a lion. I didn’t get hurt. The lion was coming towards me and said, “Roar.” He wanted to make friends with me. Then we heard a big roar from a tiger that scared them.

I tried to whoosh by to get the tiger confused. Then the tiger was about to eat me. But lion came by and pushed me out of the way. The lion saved me. Lion pushed away the tiger and we never saw the tiger again.

Again, he tells me he’s done with the story. I explain to him that it’s a good first draft. (I found out from his teacher they call it “Sloppy copy” — I love that!) And we will review it again another day. He wants to be done, finished, wash his hands of it. (My older son does this, too — works on a project for five minutes and declares finito.)

I asked him, “You know I’m a writer?”

He nods.

“Remember what I taught your class (career day)? That we need to brainstorm and keep editing our stories. The first one is never the final story.” I said.

The stubborn little guy pushes back. We’ll see if I can get him to revise it. But hey, he’s only in first grade. Still, they teach them to do a draft before a final at this age. Next time we discuss the story, I’ll remind him that this is a “sloppy copy.” I just hope he doesn’t take offense to that or think I expect perfection (of course not!).

Don’t you think writing is rewriting? How do you handle the first draft? What happens after the first draft?

I did not set out to become a professional writer. Instead, serendipity had a large role to play in my career. But my choice of profession did not surprise people who’ve known me since my school and college days. They expected it all along, given that they saw me acing essays and winning poetry and short story competitions.

They saw traits of a natural writer, someone who felt comfortable with words and who did not have to strive hard to come up with a decent essay or story even at short notice. People recognize a writer through a few essential traits especially the following.

1. Writers are voracious readers: I’ve been a bookworm since the time I was six when I discovered the wonderful world of books. I devoured any written material I could grab. Even today, I would rather curl up with a book than watch a movie or flip TV channels.

Most writers love to read. Their love of books makes them want to write, and the more they read, the better writers they become. Reading as much as you can about varied subjects, topics and viewpoints is the best way to stay current and improve your writing. Good writers know and understand this unwritten rule.

2. Writers are intuitive thinkers: Good writers are able to think deeper about any subject and delve into it instead of skimming through it on a superficial level. They know that without a good understanding of any topic or niche, then they cannot write comprehensively about it. So whatever their chosen genre or niche, they work to stay up to date and understand it thoroughly.

3. Writers are observant bystanders: A writer’s sub-conscious is always on the lookout for story ideas. They look at situations differently from others in their quest to find an interesting article or book.

They also know how use their creative instincts and spin a story the right way. For example, if the style is serious, they don’t cloud the narration with flashy language. If they have the liberty to spin a yarn, they do it to the best of their ability. In short, writers’ brains work overtime when they sense a story in any situation. They don’t rest until they sort through the idea and transform it into words that lead to a good article or book.

4. Writers are diligent researchers: A writer needs strong research skills consistently achieve success. You may know your subject well, but any story or article has to be thoroughly researched and the facts double-checked to avoid making mistakes and losing your credibility. Good writers know they must have the patience to plod through their research. Otherwise, they won’t achieve the kind of success that they want.

This guest post is contributed by Anna Miller, who writes on the topic of online degrees. She welcomes your comments at her email id: anna.miller009@gmail.com.

Welcome to meryl’s notes blog (this here place you’re lookin’ at) in Plano, Texas. We’re honored to be a stop in Laura Cross’ WOW! Women On Writing Blog tour. We’re giving away a prize. Read on to see what you can win.

About Laura Cross: She is an author, screenwriter, ghostwriter, freelance book editor, and writing coach specializing in nonfiction books and script adaptation (book-to-film projects). She writes two popular blogs, www.NonfictionInk.com and www.AboutAScreenplay.com, and teaches online writing workshops. Her latest book is The Complete Guide To Hiring A Literary Agent: Everything You Need To Know To Become Successfully Published. You can download a free chapter, view the book trailer, read the full table of contents and purchase the eBook at www.GetALiteraryAgent.com.

The Supplies You Need to Build a Writer’s Platform by Laura Cross

Literary agents and publishers are looking for nonfiction writers with established platforms. It’s difficult, if not impossible, to land a book deal or acquire an agent without one. A platform encompasses the ways you are visible and attracting potential readers. It conveys your expertise and influence. Every author’s platform strategy will be unique to him or her. One size does not fit all. You must follow a path that is natural for you and your writing. However, there are five essential components or supplies you need to build a writer’s platform:

1. Understand Your Brand Image: Establish an author identity and use it consistently throughout your material. Your personal brand is how you package and present yourself to readers to distinguish and differentiate yourself from other writers.

2. Develop and Promote Your Expertise: Are you the go-to expert in your field? You can establish your expertise through:

• Professional credentials
• Writing articles
• Being featured on radio and television, and in print media
• Testimonials and endorsements
• Speaking engagements
• Teaching workshops, seminars, teleclasses, and webinars
• Hosting your own online radio show or podcast
• Creating informational products
• Being a resource for reporters, journalists, and television producers
• Sending out press and news releases
• Creating and distributing online informational videos
• Answering questions via LinkedIn groups and YahooAnswers
• Blogging and guest posts

3. Have an Internet Presence: Every potential author needs a website or blog. If you already have a web presence when you begin approaching media you will have an edge over other writers. A blog can add to your credibility, help you establish your expertise, and provide a means to capture potential readers for your database.

4. Build A List of Contacts: Publishers want to know just how many potential readers there are for your book. The number of fans you have from Facebook, followers on Twitter, connects on LinkedIn, and subscribers to your blog provide tangible figures. Producing a weekly or monthly e-zine or newsletter is an effective way to grow your list of contacts. Your website and blog can include an opt-in page to capture subscribers.

5. Engage In Community: You can network through local and regional events, national conferences and conventions, and online social media, such as Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Online networking sites give you access to connections and a platform to share your writing and expertise.

Your turn: What are you doing to establish and grow your author platform?

Win: You can win a class (choose from any of the classes — Meryl is jealous because she doesn’t qualify!) or a digital copy of her book. For a chance to win, please leave a comment at least 50 words long answering her question. Or write about your favorite character in a book. You have until 11:59pm on February 16, 2010 to qualify for the drawing. The unbiased and robotic Random.org has the honor of picking the winner.

Deb Ng no longer works as a freelance writer and has a full-time gig. However, she still works from a home office and doesn’t sit in meetings or watch presentations that bore. The differences between full-time work from home and freelance work from home …

• Hours: Freelancers have more flexibility in the hours, but they also might work in the evenings and on weekends depending on projects and schedules. Full-timers work set hours like most in the corporate world. But then in the corporate world, people rarely work the standard 8am to 5pm anymore (at least in the U.S.). I attend PTA meetings, play tennis, volunteer, and take my kids to their appointments. Would full-time work allow for this? Not so sure.
• Employer: Full-timers only work for one client, don’t have to worry about quoting rates, bookkeeping, and marketing. Freelancers have to make all of this part of their jobs. Freelancers must manage multiple clients. However, if freelancers lose a client — they already (should) have other clients to keep things going. A full-timer losing a job has no other income (this doesn’t count those who might have a couple gigs on the side).
• Benefits: Full-timers usually have benefits and freelancers don’t. Full-timers can go on paid vacation with little guilt. Freelancers can go on vacation, but don’t get paid for it — which can lead to feeling guilty (some are great about it and others like me aren’t).
• Illness: Full-timers get sick days. Company sick days vary widely, but freelancers don’t get money when they don’t work unless they’ve built up passive income. When I don’t feel well, I use my laptop and rest on the sofa or on my comfy bed. How much I work depends on deadlines — just a matter of finding a compromise. But when I feel awful (flu), I’m out and I won’t force anything.

One thing about going freelance is that it has given me a more well-rounded life than before when I worked in the corporate world. Before, it was work and family. Now, it’s volunteer (much more and sitting on the boards, too), tennis, more family involvement, and work (more variety and people).

I just need to add travel (other than Austin!) to the mix. At least, it’s a greater mix than when I worked in the corporate world. I didn’t exactly take real vacations while in the corporate world, but did sneak in a couple (one in 1998 and one in 2002).

Which type of career would you prefer? Why?

Winners of Are You Ready to Hire a Virtual Assistant? entry prizes: April wins Five ebooks on writing from Anne Wayman and Tracy Fitzpatrick wins one full copy of Astraware Classic Collection, which includes Astraware Sudoku, Astraware Solitaire, and Astraware Board games. Congratulations!

This entry’s prizes: One copy of Business Daffynitions: Humor from the Workplace from Joe Heuer, the Rock and Roll Guru, one full copy of Orchidia PC game from Joyboost, (See Meryl’s Orchidia review.) and one copy of Andy King’s Website Optimization. As usual, just post a valuable 30+ word comment by July 6.

Either Peter Bowerman‘s name or books came up in the newsletters on writing that I regularly read. Eventually, we exchanged a few emails and I enjoy his knowledge, honesty, and writing. He produces a valuable newsletter and of course, his books are worth every dollar. I’m honored to have him as a guest blogger.

The $75,000 Writer: Follow the Dollars to Freelance Commercial Writing

Imagine This: The editor of a magazine you’ve written several pieces for says yes to a recent query. You outline the parameters of the piece and the conversation turns to money. He says, “Let’s try something a little different this time. Figure out how many hours you think it’ll take to do the piece. Factor in time for research, background reading, travel to and from appointments, brainstorming, interviewing, writing, and editing. Then multiply the hours by $75 and give me a figure.” You return with a number, he says “fine” and you get to work.

Has he lost his mind? Is this a freelancer’s wistful fantasy? In some writing arenas, maybe. But in freelance commercial (corporate) writing, the above-described scenario is pretty much right on the money. And speaking of money, instead of flat fees with potentially vast and open-ended investments of time, here’s a field where fees are based on hourly rates of $50-125 or more, and all time counts.

A Lucrative and Growing Opportunity
In the few decades, prolific downsizing in Corporate America has resulted in the outsourcing of an enormous amount of writing projects to well-paid freelancers. How can you get your share? Who do you contact? Well, for starters, there are two main groups of prospects: End Users (EU) and Middlemen (MM).

End Users (EUs)
EUs are the corporations, large and small (as well as non-profits, universities, and more), that will be the end-users of the writing. With large companies, approach Corporate Communications, also known as “MarCom” (marketing communications). With smaller ones, try marketing, sales, or finally, HR.

A manager with a huge telecommunications firm in Atlanta noted, “Most people would assume that a company of our size would do the bulk of our writing in-house, and they’d be wrong. It’s amazing how much writing we outsource. My writing needs these days are pretty steady, and I pay anywhere from $65-85/hour, depending on the writer’s experience.”

Middlemen (MMs)
MMs – companies often hired by EUs to execute these projects – include advertising agencies, graphic design firms, marketing companies, PR firms, and event production companies – to name the key ones. Few of these entities staff writing talent, preferring instead to hire the right talent for a specific job, and only when needed.

• Ad Agencies/PR Firms: These entities, which can be huge, do staff copywriters for high-profile ad campaigns but will often bring in freelancers to handle “collateral” (marketing brochures, newsletters, sales sheets, etc.). Small agencies offer better opportunities for freelancers.
• Graphic Design Firms: This group tends toward the smaller end and rarely have on-staff writers. They include many “lone rangers” (one-person shops), several of whom have put many thousands of dollars in my pocket over time. Cultivate relationships with the most talented designers at the larger firms. The good ones all eventually go freelance and if they like you and your work, you’ll be on their “A-list.”
• Event Production Companies: These firms handle all aspects of huge corporate conventions, conferences, product launches, etc. That may include show literature, videos, speeches, web content, signage, and more. Contact major convention facilities to get the names of the big players.

Who to Contact?
For all the above MM clients, contact CDs (Creative Directors: often hard to reach), ACDs (Assistant CDs: easier), AEs (Account Executives), PMs (Project Managers). Find them through the actual category listing in the Yellow Pages or through an annual business listing publication.

Beyond the Yellow Pages…
Where else can you find your prospects? Most good-sized metropolitan areas have a weekly business publication ending in “… Business Journal (i.e. Los Angeles Business Journal, Philadelphia Business Journal, etc.) Check www.amcity.com for the full nationwide listing. Get their Book of Lists, an invaluable annual resource listing of the top businesses in dozens of categories.

Whatever your goals or circumstances, the commercial writing field offers a lucrative and growing opportunity for those with good writing skills. Isn’t it time for a raise?

About the author: Peter Bowerman, a freelance copywriter, speaker and business coach, is the author of the award winning Well-Fed Writer titles – how-to “standards” on lucrative freelancing for businesses (www.wellfedwriter.com). In 2007, leveraging the successful self-publishing of his first two books (52,000 copies in print, and a full-time living for five-plus years), he released The Well-Fed Self-Publisher: How to Turn One Book into a Full-Time Living. (www.wellfedsp.com).

Prizes for this entry: $450 basic WordPress customization package from Kim Beasley.  one copy of Andy King’s upcoming Website Optimization. Here’s its companion site. Just leave a 30-word comment on this post by June 29 (yes, I made it longer — through the weekend) to get an entry for a drawing.

For a long time, I knew of John Hewitt and he didn’t know me. Way back when I used to search for jobs for AbsoluteWrite.com‘s markets newsletter, I relied on John’s listings. I linked to John’s site over time because he offers a wonderful resource for writers.

We got to know each other better after to my surprise and delight, he listed my blog as one of the recommended blogs for writers. It surprised me because this blog doesn’t make such lists often since it doesn’t focus on a niche (just writing, in this case — I know that’s bad… but hey, it started out as more about web design). So he made my day, week, month, year.

Then he included my blog in March Writing Blog Madness and I was hooked. Thanks to his contest, I immersed myself back into the blogosphere with fervor (I kind of neglected it because of business commitments). I’ve met some awesome folks because of John. Thank you, John.

Don’t Call 911, Call Us!

That was the gist of the ad I wrote. It ran for one day in the local newspapers. By the end of the next day, my client had been lambasted on the radio, on television, and even by the newspapers that ran the ad. There were also a few local politicians who personally called to ask just how insane my client was. Some people say that there is no such thing as bad publicity, but I’m pretty sure this was the definition of bad.

But We’re the Good Guys!

To be fair, my client did have a legitimate complaint with 911. My client owned an ambulance service. He had operated that service for over thirty years, and he was being squeezed out of the market by the city. The city had decided to get into the paramedic business, and had been changing the rules of the game at will, just to suit their goals.

The kicker came when the city actually started diverting calls away from my client, even when they had ambulances that were closer and more ready to respond. The city was, in my client’s opinion, putting people at risk in order to put his company out of business. That was when he came up with the idea for the ad.

The client came to me with a rough version of the ad that he had put together himself. All he wanted from me was to clean up the text and tweak the graphics so that it looked more professional. I ended up rewriting the ad twice to make it as clear as possible that my client was only suggesting calling them in non-critical situations such as broken bones and medical transport.

The text of the ad was quite clear about that, but the headline was what caught people’s attention. Don’t Call 911, Call Us! Nothing I said in the rest of the ad was going to make that headline any less damaging.

His Problem, My Mistake

I wish I could say I tried to talk the client out of it. If I were in the same position today, I certainly would give it my best shot. At the time though, I was as caught up in their situation as they were. I knew they were being forced out of business. I knew the city was being underhanded. Plus, I kind of wanted to see what would happen.

As I said in the beginning, the results were not good. I’m not sure if there was a way that my client could have prevailed, but that ad cemented his defeat. The company didn’t quite go out of business, but that was the end of its involvement in emergency services for the city. It was also the last job I did for that client. I don’t know if he blamed me for the debacle, but clearly my work had not yielded the results he needed. I don’t blame him for moving on.

What I learned

There’s a difference between what your client wants and what your client needs

My client wanted to take on the city and reach his customers by diverting them from the 911 system that had shut him out of the game. His strategy antagonized a powerful opponent and angered both the media and potential customers. What he needed was a whole new plan (and a different goal). There was no way I could have made the ad work. I should have discussed other strategies. I only focused on what my client wanted, not what he needed.

If it feels like a bad idea, speak up

Since then, I have been much more vocal when faced with projects or clients that I think are misguided. I try not to be insulting, but I do try to give them my best advice and steer them away from self-destructive practices. I do this for them, but I also do it for me. I don’t want to be associated with failures if I can help it.

Make a choice

Over the years I have turned down several projects and partnerships. I turned them down because I either thought their plan was bad, or I didn’t trust them to follow through. I have also taken a few risky projects. Sometimes I took them for the money. Sometimes I took them for the challenge. I’ve been burned more than once, but not every risky project was a failure. Sometimes you succeed even when the plan is bad. Life is funny that way.

Move on

Whether a project is a success or a failure, once it is done you have to put it behind you. Find the next job. Look for the next challenge. Find new ways to succeed.

About the author
John Hewitt has been a professional writer for 20 years. In that time he has learned 12 Ways to Write Terrible Documentation, 10 Ways to Annoy the Hell out of Your Writers’ Group and How to Write Your Way Out of a Wet Paper Sack. You can read more at poewar.com.

The winner of one full copy of Spinword PC game from Joyboost from the How to Become a Freelance Writer entry is Karen Swim! Congratulations again, Karen. It’s possible to win more than once in the blog entry prizes.

This entry’s prizes are a book by Tara Calishain and AWAI’s Accelerated Six Figure Copywriting program (excellent — I have it… but never had time to finish it). Just leave a 30-word comment on this post by June 21 to get an entry for a drawing.

I was going to call this “Telling the Violent Truths of the Writing Life,” but Freelance Folder already has dibs on “violent.” Just joking — that’s the name of guest blogger Bob Younce’s excellent series over there.

I met Bob through Poewar. Obviously, John Hewitt of Poewar connected me with a lot of new writer friends. Thank you, John. It only took me a second to consider him a friend. His articles on writing and freelancing — whether on his site or elsewhere — provide a lot of value.

Telling the Hard Truths of the Writing Life

It’s easy, if you listen to one element of the Internet writing community, to think that freelance writing consists entirely of days on the beach sipping margaritas and writing for half an hour on your laptop. For anyone who’s been writing for more than a few weeks, though, you know it just isn’t true. Anyone who tells you that it’s possible to make a living in minutes a day is selling something.

Not that selling is bad, mind you; in fact, writers have to do it in order to be successful. But these folks are selling a false idea. In this life, you reap what you sow, plain and simple.

These folks prey on unsuspecting new moms, for example, that want to work from home. They prey on guys tired of their cubicle careers who are looking for a way out. They look for a felt need and offer a fake solution.

At the same time, there are folks on the opposite end of the spectrum. There’s me, for example. If you’ve read much of my writing at all, you know I constantly promote the idea of hard work and, sometimes, long hours. I have probably turned more people away from a writing career than I have recruited, in my time.

I like to think that the realist approach is a good thing, and that it helps folks considering the writing life to count the cost before they get into something they’re not willing to follow through on.

Maybe I’m just trying to keep away the competition. I don’t think that’s it, though.

Here’s the danger that I constantly find myself in, though. I want to be able to encourage writers. I want to cheer them on. I want them to see the same kind of success I’ve had, and the same kind of success Meryl has had right here.

So, those of us honest folk in the Internet writing community wind up saying something like this:

“Freelance writing is hard work. You can make an honest living doing it, and there’s no better life. But you’ve got to work hard and you’ve got to have your wits about you.”

On occasion, I think it’s worth talking about all of the good things in the writing life. I think it’s worth celebrating a success or two, both our own and others’ successes.

Like Meryl, here. She’s been plugging away at this site for the better part of a decade. My goofy little blog has been on the map since February; Meryl’s been here for 8 Februarys.

That says something, folks. It says something about character. It says something about tenacity. It says something about dedication. It’s these characteristics that you’ve got to have to make it as a writer.

So, I celebrate with Meryl. I thank her for her inspiring example. I take a moment away from telling the hard truths of the writing life to tell a pleasant one:

Writing success is possible. Look at Meryl, and at others who have done it. Dream your dream, and dream it big. You can get there, no matter what challenges you face. Stick with it. Be dedicated. And remember: you’re standing on the shoulders of giants.

Thanks, Meryl. Enjoy your vacation, and come back soon.

About the author: Bob Younce is a full-time Internet writer and writing mentor living in Linwood, Michigan. He is dedicated to helping Internet writers to achieve their dreams. Visit Bob at The Writing Journey or follow him on Twitter.

• Add Spark to Your Writing with These 3 Simple Tweaks: I shy away from sentences where I use repeating words even though a comma separates them. This convinced me otherwise.
• So You Want to Become a Freelance Writer? Four part article with advice from the pros.
• Best Pro-Blogging Sentence in 2008: Wonderful quote from a CEO on why blogging matters in business.
• Disposable Email Addresses: Want something? Not sure if you can trust a source asking for your email?
• The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks: Love this. I’ve got friends who do this in email plus add unnecessary apostrophes. Nice to laugh instead of cringe for a change.
• Idea Seeds for Successful Articles and Posts: Creative approach to finding ideas.
• Searching for Mr. (Pardon, Mrs. and Ms., too) Good Host: A guest post of mine over at my guest blogger‘s site

And for fun… because we’re allowed…

• Speak LOL Cat [Link: Peter Shankman]
• Bored at work, but don’t want to get caught reading fiction or poetry? How about reading this stuff in PowerPoint? This takes work to figure out — but you log in as a user and click the folders. Start Here.

The prize of the day is from Ted Demopoulos: Secrets of a Successful Blogging System digital audiobook with What No One Ever Tells You About Blogging and Podcasting (in which Meryl appears). Leave a comment with at least 30 words (to ensure they provide value) by June 7 and you’ll get an entry to win this cool prize.

Our guest blogger is Jamie Grove of How Not to Write. However, he means the opposite… he knows how to write and does it well as you can tell from this entry. Thank you, Jamie. We’ve known each other a short time, but it feels longer as he’s easy to talk to and get to know.

Write Funny: 3 Timeless Rules of Comedy That Every Writer Should Learn

“The more you explain it, the more I don’t understand it.”
- Mark Twain

When people say I’m funny they generally mean one of two things…

“You should read some of his work. It will make you laugh.”

- or -

“You should watch him get out of the shower. It will make you laugh.”

This poor example demonstrates that deliberately trying to be funny is often the surest route to not being funny. However, the point was to provide a basis for a relatively simple example of the three timeless principles of comedic writing: Inversion, Repetition, and Reciprocal Interference. While learning the fundamentals of these these principles, you will also learn that in trying to describe comedy by disassembling a joke we often render it completely unfunny.

Henri Bergson (1859-1941) Author, Philosopher, Nobel Laureate… Decidedly not funny, though perhaps he plays better in Swedish. From the 1927 Nobel Prize in Literature: “In recognition of his rich and vitalizing ideas and the brilliant skill with which they have been presented.”

In 1900, French philosopher Henri Bergson published the unfunniest book ever written on the nature of comedy and the human condition, Laughter: An Essay on the Meaning of the Comic. Here’s a rather impenetrable sample typical of Bergson:

“Life presents itself to us as evolution in time and complexity in space. Regarded in time, it is the continuous evolution of a being ever growing older; it never goes backwards and never repeats anything. Considered in space, it exhibits certain coexisting elements so closely interdependent, so exclusively made for one another, that not one of them could, at the same time, belong to two different organisms: each living being is a closed system of phenomena, incapable of interfering with other systems. A continual change of aspect, the irreversibility of the order of phenomena, the perfect individuality of a perfectly self-contained series: such, then, are the outward characteristics–whether real or apparent is of little moment–which distinguish the living from the merely mechanical. Let us take the counterpart of each of these: we shall obtain three processes which might be called REPETITION, INVERSION, and RECIPROCAL INTERFERENCE OF SERIES. Now, it is easy to see that these are also the methods of light comedy, and that no others are possible.”

I tried my best to find a shorter sample, but Bergson goes on like this for about 42,000 words. If he hadn’t been awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1927, you’d swear his book was a parody. In any case, I’ll spare you further pain of trying to figure out what “reciprocal interference of series” means and simply call it comedic paradox.

According to Bergson, a comedic paradox is any situation which exists simultaneously within two independent series of events and is capable of being interpreted in two entirely different meanings at the same time. While according to my wife, there is no question that my second example is far superior to the first, because it is obvious to her that a body like mine was designed by someone with a fine sense of humor.

(Note: That was a demonstration of Comedic Paradox.)

In the paragraph above, I reintroduced the opening joke and bolted it onto the intellectual discourse of Henri Bergson. Bergson would probably argue that this isn’t truly comedic paradox, but I disagree. Comedic paradox makes us laugh because our brains fail to sort out the confusion inherent in the change of context. Eventually, there is little choice but give up and laugh.

Stand-up comedians also leverage comedic paradox. During a set, the same joke will appear several times but worked into different situations. Comedians do this because it’s easy to make an audience laugh at the same joke twice. I prove this to the world every morning when I get out of the shower.

(Note: That was a demonstration of Repetition.)

Of course, the key to creating the joke in the first place is inversion. Inversion is the reversal of expected roles. For example, the quote from Mark Twain at the start of this article is funny because he reverses the first half of the phrase in the second half. Unfortunately, when applied to my running joke, I do find that inversion is what put me in this awkward situation in the first place.

(Note: That was a demonstration of Inversion, Repetition and a stretch for Comedic Paradox.)

Speaking of repetition, here are the basic rules in non-Bergson speak:

1. Inversion – To find the funny, flip the idea backwards. It’s easy once you practice.

2. Repetition – Once you find the funny, make with it again and again until it is no longer funny. You’ll be surprised how long you can go if you apply inversion.

3. Comedic Paradox – Mash up the funny with the not so funny to create a third funny, which technically should not exist. Sometimes this works and sometimes not. Paradoxes are like that.

Best of luck! Be sure to show me the funny!