This is one of those making the rounds in email, but I thought it was a good one.
Pregnancy Q & A
Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs?
A: Yes, but you'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all.
Q: What is the easiest way to figure out exactly when I got pregnant?
A: Have sex once a year.
Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
Q: My blood type is O-positive and my husband's is A-negative. What if my baby is born, say, type AB-positive?
A: Then the jig is up.
Q: My husband and I are very attractive. I'm sure our baby will be beautiful enough for commercials. Whom should I contact about this?
A: Your therapist.
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A: If it's the flu, you'll get better.
Q: My brother tells me that since my husband has a big nose, and genes for big noses are dominant, my baby will have a big nose as well. Is this true?
A: The odds are greater that your brother will have a fat lip.
Q: Since I became pregnant, My breasts, rear end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A: Yes, your bladder.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: I'm modest. Once I'm in the hospital to deliver, who will see me in that delicate position?
A: Authorised personnel only-doctors, nurses, oderlies, photographers, florists, cleaning crews, journalists, etc.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.