To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students . . . Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was “DON'T!”

“Don't what?” Adam replied.

“Don't eat the forbidden fruit.” God said.

“Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve...we have forbidden fruit!!!!!”

“No Way!”

“Yes, way!”

“Do NOT eat the fruit! said God.

“Why?”

“....Because I am your Father and I said so!” God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!

“Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?” God asked.

“Uh huh,” Adam replied.

“Then why did you?” said the Father.

“I don't know,” said Eve.

“She started it!” Adam said.

“Did not!?”

“Did too!?”

“DID NOT!?”

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

Note to self - read 25 Great Things About Being Pregnant in the final months.

Faves:
2 - People look at your stomach and can't help smiling, as if the mere thought of your being pregnant has actually made their day a little bit brighter.
Can only hope that's true. I know I smile at others.

5 - Getting to name another human being.
LOVE this part although the naming can be a challenge at times.

6 - Watching your husband turn into a father when he kisses your belly good night.
This is just too sweet to explain.

10 - The amazing anticipation. It's like all your previous birthdays and holidays rolled into one.

14 In the middle of a boring meeting at work or a meaningless argument, you feel your baby squirming inside you and the sensation takes you away. It's your own secret communication.
Definitely. Even at 4am.

15 Getting to hear the swish swish swish of your baby's heartbeat on the Doppler.
Ditto. Although, I wonder how it sounds with natural hearing compared to hearing aid hearing.

17 - The extra attention you get from everyone -- your husband gives you more foot rubs, and your friends call to check in more often. Neighbors offer to help; coworkers volunteer to get lunch for you; little presents (a bottle of water, an afternoon snack) mysteriously show up on your desk.
A co-worker was a darling! She got me a much needed drink and from the place I love getting his particular drink from and wouldn't let me pay her back. All I was asking if someone was going to pick up lunch for herself and to grab me something... but no, she went to the place I mentioned in passing.

Gotta comment:
3 - You can eat a whole pint of chocolate-chunk ice cream and not feel guilty. Every night.
Wrong-o! Just celebrated a few birthdays with three more on the way -- and still feel guilty about the desserts. Can just see them filling the places that won't shrink after delivery.

8 - Buying a bathing suit. It's not about hiding your flaws; it's about flaunting your belly.
Brahahahaha! Sorry, bub... still have flaws sticking out as much as the belly.

13 - You eat healthier, drink more water, and carefully read ingredient labels. Suddenly, it matters more to you what you put in your body.
Uh, no. The only major change I make is stop drinking coffee. It's hard enough to get in the mood to eat certain things.

16 - Playing "Guess the part sticking out," usually at bedtime, when your baby starts moving furniture around or whatever it is he does in there.
After two and one-half pregnances... I never could figure out one part from the other.

19 - Getting to skip to the front of the line in public rest rooms.
Never happened.

It's a little sad knowing this is the last pregnancy. Trying to be patient and enjoy each day despite discomforts. Roughly four months until I meet someone new... but also the same amount of time until I gotta get back in shape.

Until the first born came along, I had never heard the, "La de da dum, la de da dum, what's the name of that song?" song. Where did I hear it? Sesame Street! It was on one of the first videos we had for her. Call me strange, I don't care - I like that song plus many others that I've viewed on children's videos. And, if I can't remember the words to that song, I can look it up at KIDiddles, the best resource for kiddie songs.

I can relate to Darylwho logs on the Internet to resolve a parenting problem. Though I know a few songs -- I never remember certain lines or words and it makes me crazy. The 'net is full of lyrics for children's songs. Singing to a baby is one of life's pleasures because they're a captive audience and don't boo your singing. I know I'm a million miles away from a decent singing voice, but singing to a child is pure bliss.

One of my favorite songs to sing to a baby is Fugue for the Tinhorns. There's just something about the beat that just makes it fun. How does that go? Ah, there it is... here we go! I've got the horse right here... his name is Paul Revere...

Baby Blues may be a comic, but did the authors have to name Bunny's twins Wendell and Wendell? Bunny is the supermom that we moms hate because she does it all -- cooks, cleans, volunteers, makes the kids' clothes, etc. Yet, she doesn't have the sense to give her twins their own identities?

Oh yeah, she made the middle names different, but somehow I don't think that's going to help.

That's the challenge about having a common last name in Evans. We didn't want to give our kids a common first name since many share the same name as hubby in the phone book. In fact, one had the SAME social security number off by one number. And, this guy had a shady background.

So, we thought we did a good job naming our daughter. Sure enough, in her first homecare, there was another girl by the same name. Today, there are three girls in her grade by the same name. Nothing's safe, eh?

Got my weekly newsletter. My comments interjected with parenthesis.

At 1 1/4 pounds, your baby is still a little string bean with no body fat (Ha! String bean? Never heard a person in my family called a string bean!). But his brain is growing rapidly, and he's starting to fill the space in your uterus, which is now the size of a soccer ball (Oh. That explains why son keeps aiming for my belly). His taste buds are also forming, and, believe it or not, his sweet tooth. Could that explain your sudden craving for donuts? (Ha! Ironically, I've been wanting to eat more sweets as of late... but that could be because I've come to count on sweets this time of the year with all of our birthdays) No one knows for sure, but try that excuse on your honey the next time you ask him to run to the store (he should be thankful. I've yet to make him go out on a late night run for cravings... throughout all three pregnancies).

Also mentioned in this issue:

Quick Tip: Belly-Rub Bonding "Help alleviate stretch marks and dry, itchy skin by moisturizing both internally — by drinking plenty of water — and externally. Have your partner give you belly rubs nightly with moisturizers and cocoa butter."

I say (after I've recovered from laughing my head off) -- try it... waste your money... all you get is a soft belly, but those stretch marks ain't goin' no place! My doctor once responded to the question of how to avoid stretch marks with, “Don't get pregnant!”

He be right. Small price to pay for a lifetime of a child.

Wow. One of my kids is celebrating a birthday today and it doesn't seem so long ago that I was pregnant with the child. Yet, here I am about to have a third. Does that mean the next few years are going to fly?

I do all I can to appreciate a child at every age, every day... yet, time still flies. Even with down days... time, you know.

Yet, I remember when I was a kid myself -- that days in school were long and dull... summer vacation was fun at first, but got old fast and I complained of boredom. HA! I should have appreciated those days more since I don't have time to be bored. But, when you're that age -- you only think about how you feel at the moment. If it's boredom -- you're moping and complaining to mom and dad. You're not thinking about how you'll be busier than heck when you are all grown up.

Last night, I was checking with hubby to see if he was taking our daughter to school because of her project. He replied, “Yes, but she doesn't want me to. She wants to ride the bus.”

“Why?!?!”

“She is embarrassed by me.”

<cough, cough, gag, gag, shock, shock> I couldn't believe it. She isn't even in 5th grade yet and already she has the I-don't-wanna-be-seen-with-my-parents-itis?? I looked at her and I told her that's typical of a kid in middle school not at her age... appreciate being a kid. You're an adult far longer than a kid.

Unbelievable. I'm not trying to make her grow up faster. I don't give her responsibilities that she doesn't need. She needs to enjoy being a kid. I even have to make her stop mothering her little brother.

What is it about today's times that just makes kids waste their youth?

Just received word from CPSC that there is a recall on Gerry® and Evenflo® Portable Wood Cribs Recalled by Hufco-Delaware Company and Evenflo Company Inc..

CPSC is not a pretty site, but it serves its purpose very well. I am on the mailing list for all recalls and recommend it to everyone. They list everything from baby stuff to geeky stuff to home stuff. The emails don't come often and you can scan them quickly to see if the recall impacts you or not.

This is one of those making the rounds in email, but I thought it was a good one.

Pregnancy Q & A

Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs?
A: Yes, but you'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all.

Q: What is the easiest way to figure out exactly when I got pregnant?
A: Have sex once a year.

Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q: My blood type is O-positive and my husband's is A-negative. What if my baby is born, say, type AB-positive?
A: Then the jig is up.

Q: My husband and I are very attractive. I'm sure our baby will be beautiful enough for commercials. Whom should I contact about this?
A: Your therapist.

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A: If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q: My brother tells me that since my husband has a big nose, and genes for big noses are dominant, my baby will have a big nose as well. Is this true?
A: The odds are greater that your brother will have a fat lip.

Q: Since I became pregnant, My breasts, rear end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A: Yes, your bladder.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: I'm modest. Once I'm in the hospital to deliver, who will see me in that delicate position?
A: Authorised personnel only-doctors, nurses, oderlies, photographers, florists, cleaning crews, journalists, etc.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

I'm a regular blood donor. After confirming the pregnancy, I called the local blood center and told them to take me out of commission. Despite that call, I continue getting phone calls, post cards, and today I got birthday wishes via email from them. Though I am just one person, I was trying to do them a favor to save time and cost. Ah, well, it was nice of the computer at the blood center to remember my birthday and send me a note.

Does this look like a person who should be giving blood? :)

From the Parents Place newsletter at 22 weeks, “Your baby now weighs nearly one pound! He or she measures 19 centimeters from crown to rump. Your baby now has eyelids and eyebrows and has developed fat, which helps to keeps it warm. And, believe it or not, those teeny, tiny ears can now hear sounds from outside.”

Time to watch my language!

The report also suggests eating a salad. Yeah, right. Oh, I crave the green stuff every day. Yeah, right.

A big Happy Birthday to the baby's Dad!

Today was Shelby's last day of winter break. I was prepared for the deluge of, “Can I call a friend to play?” but I wasn't prepared for the conversation that took place the minute she came down wanting breakfast. While getting her drink from the fridge, she saw the letter from the insurance company approving a cochlear implant.

“Mom, are you having that ear thing done?”

<that felt like a slap across the face coming out of nowhere> “Well, I am scheduled for July,” I replied wondering what's coming.

<She got emotional - no surprise for her> <That's going to make you different. I don't want anything to be different.”

“Make me different, how?” I asked.

“You'll be able to hear.”

“No, I won't. I mean, I'll still have to lipread and all. It won't make me hear like you can. Besides, you, Dad, and your brother can hear. Why not me?”

“Because it's different. I want things to stay the same,> she weeps.”

<searching my prego brain for examples of change> “We moved from Washington, DC to Texas.” <I knew that was a bad example because she was only 18 months when we moved, which is exactly what she said -- that she didn't remember> “Your brother's arrival was another change.”

“Yeah, and he's a pain. He gets all the attention.”

“A different kind of attention... not always good because he gets in more trouble than you do. Besides, he can't do some things, yet. When he was born, you were at the age where you could do most of the basics yourself. We have another change coming soon with the baby.”

“Exactly! I'm going to be left out with Lane and the baby getting all the attention.”

“Shelby. You're always important to the family. You'll be busy with school, after-school activities, and all that. We go to your events. It's a different kind of attention. We spend time with you. We play games with you, something we can't do with Lane and the baby just yet.”

End of scene. Break for breakfast. Run to computer and report conversation to hubby.

I mentioned over at the notes weblog that we've exited the palindrome year of 2002 and tomorrow we'll meet an unusual date 01-02-03, as in 01-02-2003. Too bad my due date is not the first week of May, then I could shoot for 05-04-03. :) Based on my track record with the other two, I'm always on time. Not early. Not late. So, I doubt it if I make that date.